Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 9/22/2010

Question
In God's word and/or commands, it is stated that we love, honor and respect our parents. Does this give parents a right to continue to govern their adult children (over 18 yrs)in life decisions and the adult children obey?  Is there scripture that addresses adult children? What does the bible say about  responsibilities adult children have to their parents to show them that they love, honor and respect them?

Answer
Hi Nicole

Thank you for this great question.  Scriptures seem to indicate by example that the authority of a parent applies until the child establishes his or her own household, usually through marriage.

Matthew 19:4-5
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

There is no magic age in the Bible where a child living under the roof of the parent is no longer under that parent's authority.  It is an interesting and awkward time for both of you.  Both you and your parents need to lovingly work through these transitions together.  Nicole, as long as you are not getting married, and then transferring from being under your father to being under your husband, you still have the obligation to honor and obey your parents... until you are on your own.

Ephesians 6:1-2


Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;#
The King James Version, #Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don