Expert: Pastor Kimberly Lemler - 9/2/2010

Question
I have spent my life out of the influence of God (I am in my my late forties) and for the last year or so keep trying to become  Christian. I have said a prayer renouncing my sins and accepted Jesus as my saviour. Unfortunately, I keep falling. I read the bible for a month or so, and then fall away. This also lasts for a month or so before I resume biblical perusal. This is so far a permanent cycle. I do not know if the fall is through depression (which I suffer), rebellion (maybe through a childhood of enforced catholic attendance), demonic influence, etc. It is causing me much distress. I may add that I have a huge problem with catholicism and wish to attend  'The New Testament Church of God'. Whwn in the period of apathy I have an 'urge' or 'calling' from God to read the bible but cannot overcome my reluctance. This obstacle dissiptates, as aforementioned, many weeks or months later.

Answer
Paul,

 It could very well be a combination of all the things you mentioned, plus one missing ingredient....the Holy Spirit. When we are born again, our spirits are reborn. We must also ask for the infilling of the Holy Spirit. Read the book of Acts and focus on the Upper Room. This will help you understand what so many Christians are missing today. Receiving the Baptism in the Holy Spirit is crucial to our understanding of the Word and to our service to others. He is our teacher...

 Our adversary does not want us to read the Word, so when you get rebellious feelings, you need to take charge and resist. The bible says to "submit to God, RESIST the devil, and he will flee." Press through and make a decision to be obedient to God, no matter what. There will be times of ups and downs. All Christians go through this. The process of sanctification does not happen as soon as you are born again. It is a "process" and is life long until we are glorified.

Blessings,
Pastor Kim