Expert: Marilyn - 3/8/2011

Question
QUESTION: My husband and son are shunning me right now because I associate with my unsaved daughter.  They say I am sinning and it is Idoltery.  They base what they believe on these scrptures:
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> 2 Cor  6:17      2 Timothy 3:1  1 Timothy 6:3  Psalm 26:4    Ephesians 5:3   2 Thessalonians 3:6    1 Corinthians 5:9

They have asked me to show them in the Bible where they are wrong.  I can not seem to do that, meanwhile my family all walk around the house not talking to each other! Any help you can give would be very much appreciated. Thank you and Bless you

ANSWER: Hello Lisa;

The concept of separation in the Bible refers to two kinds:

1) to be separate from whatever is contrary to the Mind of God
2) to be separate unto God

The principle isn't that we should shun unbelievers or drive the unsaved away, but that we are to hold our moral behavior pure. And from that basis love our neighbors both near and far. For it is by love that we model Christ for the world and draw the unsaved to Him.

Separation from evil is separation in desire, motive and deed from the way the world conducts itself. The world, in this case, being world system which is run by satan. We are not to hold ourselves separate from contact with the unsaved, but separate from joining with them in their sinning and separate in that we conform ourselves to the likeness of Christ and not to the likeness of some celebrity or fad etc.. Also, separation needs a healthy relationship with the Holy Spirit and a thorough knowledge of Scripture so that we may keep ourselves safe from false teachers. Then, as we hold ourselves pure to God, we will enjoy unhindered communion with the Father and fruitful service.

Here, as in everything involving the Christian Way, Jesus is our example! He was "holy, blameless, pure and set apart from sinners," Hebrews 13:13-15. Yet He attended dinners in sinners' homes and hosted sinners in His own home where the friends of the paralyzed man took apart His roof. He revealed His true identity and purpose for the first time to a sinful Samaritan woman at the well, then stayed in her town...a place the Apostles thought unfit to enter...for two days, John 4. (It is important to remember that Jews thought the Samaritans impure and unfit for company because they were half-breeds (Jewish and other) who they believed and practiced a corrupt form of worship of God.) He invited Himself to dine in sinners' homes (Zacchaeus). In fact, Jesus spent so much time with sinners that the Pharisees judged Him as having defiled Himself and having lost His pure character, Luke 7:39.

Jesus, set apart to holiness, blameless and pure, kept time with sinners, always doing His best to reveal the Father's consuming desire that they might come to Him and become His children. This too, is our calling. The name "Christian" means "little Christ," because the early believers were so like Him. Oh that we could so resemble Jesus that the name "Christian" might instantly evoke a picture of Jesus. O that we could be so much like Jesus that sinners are drawn to the Father by our love! Would that more of us took this calling seriously and loved half as well!

I think you need look no farther than the Gospels to see examples of what sort of separation Paul means for us to have.  

Sincerely,

Marilyn

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Marilyn I want to thank you for taking so much time to answer this question.  Unfortunately my husband and son believe this is all opinion.  The scripture is clear on our instruction and we are to be obedient, period.  Anything else is sin.  They consider that I still associate with my daughter as Idol worship because I put her before God.  The scripture supports them shunning a Christian brother who sins by Idol worship.  I have been confronted and still refuse to stop sinning. So they can not associate with me.  I would love to know besides praying what advice you would give me the one being shunned?  Once again your answer is so right on it is exactely what I believe.  Thanks again.
Lisa

Answer
Hello;
Rather than add another P.S. I'm placing this note at the top.

Romans 8:29 tells us that we are to be conformed to the likeness of God's Son so that He will become the firstborn among many brothers. Since Jesus devoted so much of His time to sinners, we also should conform to His likeness and devote ourselves to sinners after His model: He had dinner with them; He spent time discussing things with them; He stayed in their homes etc. etc.

Love, Marilyn

Please check bottom of this document for new P.S.; now another new P.S.

Philippians 2:5, "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."

How sad that your husband and son do not want to be like Christ. His heart was always focused how to show God's Love to the lost.

We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves and I have never seen anyone attempt to claim that our neighbors are only other believers. Jesus pointed out that if we only love those who are nice to us then we're no better than unbelievers.

I must apologize to you. I am now out of town and working on this away from home. The more I have thought about your questions and problems, the more I feel I need to consult with my Pastor before I finish this answer. This will take a some time. I will post a follow-up to your question as soon as I can.

Until then, you will need to spend even more time than usual worshiping the Lord. This will give you strength and give the Holy Spirit greater sway in your heart and mind so that He can work through you. You face the challenge of loving your husband, son and daughter in the midst of this rupture, but that is what you must do--somehow love them all. Worship will help you have the strength to do this. Love, pray and worship.

Until later,

Marilyn

P.S.
Unfortunately, my pastor had to go out of town for ten days immediately after I requested his help. And then, when he returned, he had to catch up on everything. He has just responded today. I will copy below what he said:

Marilyn, you did such a superb job responding via AllExperts.  I have been hard pressed to come up with anything else to add.  My first thought was in Matthew where Jesus says that those who are healthy have not need of a physician.  My second thought is that as much as we are to be like Jesus, maybe we should consider why Jesus would even come to live on earth if he had the same point of view as the husband.  And if Jesus indeed had a different point of view from the husband(which he did) then the husband needs to conform.  By his reasoning Jesus should never have come because all he did was associate with the unrighteous.  How could the husband justify a single missionary journey – was Paul so out of line?  

Stephen

Lisa,

My prayers are with you. It is hard when persecution is so close to home and by persons who believe themselves Christian as well.

Love,

Marilyn