Expert: Todd Tyszka - 3/20/2011

Question
HI I just asked you a question regarding Jeiwsh people marrying Gentiles.I read on a web site that people not married by the age of 20 where cursed by God.Is there any scriptual basis concerning this In the Old Testement.Thanks again.

Answer
Hi Pete,
Thanks for another excellent question. That is what some Jews believe, but the Bible doesn't give an age anywhere, and the New Testament even says you don't need to marry (Paul wrote a lot about this). In fact, he says it may be better for you not to marry.

This is what I found:
"The halachic deadline is age 20. If a man has not gotten married by age 20, the Talmud says that all of his days he will have sinful thoughts. My understanding of this is that since he did not get married at the time when his hormones were raging the strongest, and since he had no kosher outlet for his sexual drive, he has become permanently warped. A man who did not get married by age 20 is supposed to be beaten by the Beith Din (religious courts) until he agrees to get married. This is the halacha in Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer 1:3), though the Rama (Rav Moshe Isserles) says that the custom nowadays is not to force people to get married. In any case, if he hasn't gotten married by age 20, he should get married as soon as possible.

The sages of the Talmud understood the nature of man and his drives very well. They suggested that a man should get married at 18, and that for protection against improper sexual urges, younger would be better. They said that putting off marriage to later than 20 would permanently warp his personality."

I hope this helps.

Todd