Expert: Clifford H. Readout, Jr. - 6/6/2011

Question
Can a Christian withhold forgiveness from a brother for any legitimate reason, ever?
Matthew 18:15-20
Is Jesus teaching that someone offended should be so unforgiving that the offended person would ultimately involve a couple witnesses, and the church in judgement in order to get vindication for the offence?  
The whole thing just feels wrong. I was hoping for your insights of verses 15-20 in context with the rest of the chapter.

Kindest Regards,
Barry

Answer
Dear Barry,

If you will send me an email at readout@gmail.com I will send you a PDF file of my copyrighted lesson about forgiveness. Be sure to mention AllExperts.com and request the study about forgiveness.  It includes a comprehensive examination of Matthew 18:15-35, and the many other texts which contain teaching about the subject.  The full answer to your question is in that study, with all the “proof” needed to establish a firm doctrine of forgiveness.

I cannot do more than summarize on AllExperts, but I will do that.

The answer to your first question ("Can a Christian withhold forgiveness from a brother for any legitimate reason, ever?) is technical;  Yes, we are able to withhold forgiveness for whatever reason we decide.  But, we cannot do it without abandoning our own salvation. The proof of this is clearly expressed in Matthew 18:21-35 and many other passages.

Matthew 18:15   Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. 18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Let’s look closely at this text, and see some overlooked facts:
1. The first word in Matthew 18:15, “Moreover,” advises you that the teaching that follows is an extension of the verses before.  While they may not seem related, they are.  They express the attitude of the One against whom the worst offenses have been committed.  This directly applies to your question, as we shall see.
2. The last phrase of the verse exposes the motive and goal for going to the one who committed the offense against you: “thou hast gained thy brother.”  This cannot be either the motive or the goal unless forgiveness already exists in your heart and mind.   Why go to the offender?  To gain him back into your fellowship.
3. If he does not accept your forgiveness and respond to it, you are to enlist the testimonies of one or two others to establish the validity of your words. Nothing in that instruction suggests a change of motive or goal.  The purpose is still to restore the brotherhood of the offender!  The one or two witnesses are not to vilify the offender, but to validate your offer of restoration of the broken relationship.
4. If the offender does not respond to the additional witnesses of your forgiveness, you are to tell it to the church.  Again, nothing suggests that the motive or goal has changed!  This is not telling you to testify to the church about the offender’s hard-heartedness, but to enlist their help in gaining him back into the fellowship. As in each step before, the motive is the same, and the minimum result will be removing the offender’s fear of rejection from the other church members.
5. If the great cloud of witnesses cannot convince the offender of the validity of your forgiveness, he cannot remain in the company of God’s people, but the motive and goal is unchanged! What is the church’s motive and goal toward the heathens and publicans?  We seek the Lord to bring them to the place where they will receive His own offer of salvation, and bring them into the fellowship of God’s people!
6. Verses 18-20 contain a warning and an encouragement.  When considered in the light of the other things the Lord Jesus taught about forgiveness, we understand that He is warning that we will also be bound by the decisions we make concerning forgiving others.
7. Verse 19 begins with “Again,” which forces us to relate it directly to what preceded it. The subject is still forgiveness, and the motive and goal are unchanged: to gain thy brother.  It is not a “blank check” that we can apply to anything we want, but is specifically limited to the subject of forgiveness.  The Lord Jesus told us that if we agree that we will do what we need to do to gain our brother, and ask Him to work to that end, He most certainly will.
8. In verse 20, the Lord Jesus explained why the statement in verse 19 is true.  But look closely!  He does not talk about two or three of us gathering together, but of two or three of us being gathered together!  We do not gather, but we are gathered!  Also, we are gathered **in His name**, which is the Name through which remission of sins is obtained!  When the offended person and two or three other church members are brought together by the Lord’s Spirit, and in agreement concerning applying forgiveness to the offender, the presence of the Lord will be the internal motivator, to help them reach their fallen brother.
9. The rest of the chapter teaches the reality of the essentiality of forgiveness, and fully answers your first question. Matthew 18:35 “So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”

I would like to send you the full lesson, which includes much more on this subject.  Email me, please, and I will send it to you.

Yours for Truth,

CR