Expert: Mrs. Priscilla Lyons - 12/9/2005

Question
I have been wrestling with the question that has been a major conversation in  my house.  You see my husband keeps making the statement that all women are deceptive by nature, but every time he says this it seems to be in a degrading manner and to make me feel that I am beneath him.  But as I have read in the Bible many times over it states that "male and female created in them in the likeness of His own image."  So does this mean the God was deceptive?

Answer
I think your husband has I Timothy 2:9-15 confused.  Eve was deceived (not deceptive), but Adam was responsible. Romans 5:12 "Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world."  Women are supposed to defer to male leadership because God holds men responsible for the welfare of wives and children, and for the welfare of the church.  We women are to be our husband's helpmate Genesis 2:18.  The husband should love his wife as his own body and nourish and cherish her as the Lord does the church Eph.5:28-29.  
   It sounds like your husband has had some hurts in his past (maybe his mom let him down and he felt deceived by her).  I find that when people say something to hurt someone, usually it is something they themselves are guilty of, so they try to shift the blame and guilty feeling to someone else in order to make themselves feel better in comparison.  If your husband has had some bad experiences of being deceived, maybe he hasn't realized he was becoming deceptive in self-defense, but it comes out by putting you down.  
   On the other hand, perhaps your husband isn't putting you down.  Maybe not feeling sure of the worth with which God has made you, makes you think the worst.  Maybe it's your husband's way of saying that he can't understand women--his way to express frustration of dealing unsuccessfully with women.  It's true that we women often have a different perspective and different way of doing things, but then, no two people are exactly alike.
   The fact that humans are the only created things made in God's image means that only humans (not animals) choose right or wrong and have a moral responsibility to God.  Only humans have an ability and privilege to communicate with God.  The closeness God wants with us is compared to a man and his wife (Ephesians 5:31-32) which is why God hates divorce.  It shatters the security we should have in God's unfailing love.  Because only God will never fail us, we should anchor our security in Him rather than in our spouse, which will lighten the load for our spouse.
   God created humans perfect, but Adam and Eve chose to turn away from God, their Source of life--which brought death into the world.  God sent His Son to take our punishment--the death we deserved, then He came back to life and offers us His perfect life if we are willing to die to ourselves.  Galatians 2:20 "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life that I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, Who loved me, and gave Himself for me."  When Jesus lives in us, we can focus on Him and what He wants instead of focusing on ourselves.  
   If you feel your husband is communicating to you that you are deceiving him (everyone has lied to some extent some time or other), don't feel sorry for yourself.  Look at this as a challenge for God to help you become a better person, then ask your husband to pray for God to help you do the right thing.  We all have room to grow to become all God intended us to be, so let's encourage one another to repent of our sins and let God help us change for His glory.  Made in His image means our purpose in life is to reflect God like a mirror reflects an image.  The uniqueness of each individual reflects God's glory and light like a many faceted diamond more brilliantly reflects the light.  You and your husband aren't exactly the same and that's the way God intended, so enjoy your differences and help each other shine for God!