Expert: Kaylan - 2/26/2004

Question
  My daughter does not live with me but she is a problem.  At age 13 she has become a poor student and is failing some of her courses.  She also is a good liar and goes out of her way to blame her shortcomings on her teachers and myself.  Are there any bible quotations to give her that will help her do her best in her school studies?  She does go to church.  Thank you in advance.
                     Fred

Answer
While I am not a family counselor I would recommend finding a good counselor for your daughter...someone she can confide in; as often parents are the last a teen feels comfortable relating problems to.

I remember myself at such a young age and how many problems I had going at that time. Scripture can help, yes, but care and concern brought about through compassion to my problems would be "Faith in Action". She may be going through a difficult time right now especially since it sounds as if you are divorced from your spouse and are no longer there for her at home as her father. This would upset any child and she needs to know that it is not her fault for causing any rift between you and your spouse. Divorce in the Church comes about because the marriage was invalid to begin with, that is what allows the Church to grant an annullment. If this is your case, try to explain that to your daughter if divorce is a part of her emotional upset.

If family problems are not the cause of her disturbing behavior, it may have to do with something else. There are possibilities that someone at school is harming her or another student. Failing courses could be a serious indication of this. I know that teens who have suffered physical abuse (sexual abuse for example) drop grades and have a hard time in school. Their behavior becomes isolated and remote; they no longer care about the things they once did.

How is her eating habits? Has she exhibited an eating disorder on top of her failing grades? I personally recommend investigating your daughter's entire situation; ask her in love and kindness what may be bothering her. Find a good counselor you feel she may open up to. Sometimes a child cannot relate all to a parent and it's better that she have someone in a trusting environment to relate any problems she may be experiencing. Thus, in this way you are covering all bases.

I would recommend for religious practice, rather than quote a Scripture verse to her, give her a little prayer to say each morning and night. Here are two favorites which she might identify with.

Morning Prayer
Lord, I offer to You, all my works, prayers, joys and sufferings of this day, in union with the Holy Mass, in reparation for my sins and those throughout the whole world.
Amen.

To say anytime...prayer of St. Joan of Arc:

Lord, If I am not in the state of grace, I pray You will place me there. If I am in the state of grace, I pray You will keep me there.

Please let me know if I can assist further :)

Kaylan
www.savior.org
"Jesus, I trust in You." - Divine Mercy Prayer