Expert: Glenn Hansen - 10/24/2007

Question
Hi and thanks for taking the time to read this,

I was baptized in 1989 and for a while i felt Gods spirit and purpose. But since then i have fallen away ( got involved in relationships twice) but have been back in my church for about seven years but even in that time i have struggled Internet pornography and paying taxes.I have stopped pornography now and have contacted the tax authorities now.
I have also suffered from bipolar disorder since i was very young which causes me to be very depressed for a while and then switch to elated and euphoric feelings accompanied by periods of reckless behavior (financial overspending etc..).



I used to feel Gods forgiveness when i repented but now i feel like my heart has become very hard and it does not respond and Satan has been accusing me for all the sins i have committed sins becoming a Christian. He keeps accusing yet i don't feel God has forgiven me. Hebrews 6:4-6 really worries me.

i would appreciate any advice or perspective that i can't see.

Thanks in advance .

Answer
Hi Toby,

Good going on working to get your taxes straightened out and dealing with pornography. Those two steps indicate tremendous progress on your part. And no need to be discouraged if you peek at a website. The Christian life is a war. Sometimes we lose a battle, but thanks be to God, we live to fight another day. And the victory is assured, no matter what you feel.

Abraham is one of my favorite characters in the Bible. Take some time to read his life record  beginning in Genesis 12. Abraham made lots of mistakes, sinned, but he remained God's friend and was especially blessed. David is another one whose life record contains some major blunders, but God considered him in light of his success, not his failure.

In addition to Scripture study, unless you have medical issues that would make it problematic, you might want to consider light fasting and physical exercise. By light fasting, I mean just eating fruit for a day or two. You would be surprised how fasting clears the mind and helps us focus.

Physical exercise is a great mood elevator. Brisk walking, swimming, jogging, taiji, and various other activities provide pleasant relief from the stress of everyday life.

Take care. We are all struggling. God will take care of you.