Expert: Tom Smith - 1/18/2007

Question
OK Tom - lets hit a hard one here. What does the bible say about divorce? I know there are some churches out there that do not allow membership to divorced people, which is a bit ridiculous in my mind b/c it seems to go against one of the core principles of Christianity, but other churches I have been to have pastors/leaders that are divorced.

I guess the refined question would be - what, if any, are the circumstances that divorce is acceptable?

BTW - I have read most of your past posts and all of them are excellent. For what its worth, I think you are doing a great work for the Lord.

Answer
Thanks for the kind comments. I appreciate hearing that the work that I do on here adds value.

That is a good question. I believe that scriptural teaching on divorce is pretty straightforward. Marriage was intended to be permanent, a lifelong commitment, and even today marriages often carry the oath that we will remain committed to each other until death. But too often those words are not taken with the seriousness that I believe God expects of us.

In the Old Testament, there is an allowance for a certificate of divorce (Deut 24) under certain circumstances, but this was not the way that God wanted it to be:

Mark 10:2-9
2 The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him. 3 And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" 4 They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her." 5 And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'  7'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,  8'and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
NKJV

So an allowance was made because of the hardness of hearts of men and women. There is only one allowance or reason for divorce, according to scripture and that is sexual immorality:

Matt 5:31-32
31 "Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 "But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
NKJV

But note that even in this passage from Matthew, even though the person is divorced, there is no allowance for re-marriage to a different person. When the oath was made, it was intended to last for the lifetime and though the people may no longer have a legal tie in the sense of being man and wife, once an oath has been made to one person, an oath cannot be made to another as long as the first person is still alive. The impact of the oath is for a lifetime, even though the couple may no longer be man and wife. Paul also talks about this in his letter to the church of Corinth:

1 Cor 7:10-14
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
NKJV

I think that every couple who is thinking of marriages and who profess to be saved should be made aware of these passages before taking their vows. Maybe many would consider more carefully who they were marrying, or perhaps consider more seriously their commitment to their spouse if they truly understood the seriousness with which God views their vows.

It is also important to note that when scripture is speaking here, it is speaking to believers. That is not to say that the vows of an unbelievers are less important, but if a person should be divorced and re-married before they are saved, we cannot undo the past, and we need to realize that the blood shed by Christ on the cross cleanses us from all unrighteousness.

As for membership in the church for those who are divorced, I would have to say that I can see nothing specific on that in scripture, though I do believe that there are some principles that we see in scripture, and here is my understanding:

1) If a person was divorced, or even divorced and remarried which yet an unbeliever, that should have no bearing on their membership in the church.

2) If a person is a believer and was a believer when they were divorced (or divorced and remarried), then I think that the situation needs to be considered individually. As stated above, we have all done things wrong in the past, and we cannot go back and change those things, but are we repentant before God for what we have done? That is the key issue - whether we are talking about divorce or anything else.

Tom
http://discern.ca