Expert: x - 4/28/2006

Question

Hello.  Is it reasonable to get angry at work at people who bad mouth other people? They probably will do the same thing about me. I keep my distance and won't be vulnerable with them. They do not deserve it. Do you agree?  

God bless you for your help.

Answer
Hello,

It's certainly a good idea to avoid people like that as best you can. I know you have to work with them, so you can't avoid them altogether- and here is the important point- just don't join in with what they're doing.

God knows that He has sent us out into a fallen world, and we ourselves are sinners, and depraved. We're just forgiven is all. Of course you should pray for your fellow workers, and if you're having a conversation with someone, and they turn the conversation around to gossip let them know you won't continue, and walk away. It can be embarrassing to do that, but it's the right thing to do.

Is it right to get angry about it? The Bible teaches that we should love the sinner, but despise the sin, and of course we do one or the other- it's difficult to balance both. But, realizing that you are no better than anyone else is the key--

Luke 18:9: He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and despised others:
10: "Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11: The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, 'God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.
12: I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.'
13: But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me a sinner!'
14: I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for every one who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."


In order to help others, we have to be convinced of our own perversions, our depravity, our personal sin-debt and shortcomings. We must be humiliated. Once we are humiliated (and it's humiliating to really accept that appraisal of ourselves)- then we can actually be of use to God. Because, then we learn to put ourselves aside, and focus on Him, and allow Him to work, and live, and help through us. Apart from Him--

John 15:4: Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.
5: I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Apart from Jesus, and His living within us- we can do nothing of lasting value.

We are commanded to be salt to others-

Matthew 5:13: "You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trodden under foot by men.


Salt in Lord Jesus' day was used to keep meat from rotting- they had no refridgeration. So, like salt, we are sprinkled here and there- you in your workplace, for example- in order to slow down or arrest altogether the process of spirtual decay going on around you. You cannot do this by yourself. Only Lord Jesus, living and breathing within you can do this. This is called living by (the/His) spirit --

Galations 5:25: If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
26: Let us have no self-conceit, no provoking of one another, no envy of one another.


Pray that you can stay out of His way, like John the Baptist realized--

John 3:30: He must increase, but I must decrease."

You and I can only get in God's way. We are only vessels for God's spirit. There is nothing special about you or I. We weren't chosen because we have something to offer God. He can get along fine without us. But if we lay our own lives/dreams/ambitions aside, He can fill us, and respond to those around us. Most people work very hard to try and do everything themselves. God rewards those who are completely dependent upon Him. Trust Him to work thorugh you. Ask Him when you pray- before you go to work, or while you're at work. You don't have to know what to do- He'll just do it through you. He knows we're loveless. He can love others through us.

Matthew 10:18: and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear testimony before them and the Gentiles.
19: When they deliver you up, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say; for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour;
20: for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.


take care,
Damon