Expert: Scott Talbot - 6/1/2007

Question
I was discussing Jesus' explanation of the Greatest Commandment to an individual that asked me a question that really threw me for a loop.  He said, but what if a person doesn't love themselves, how does this passage work?  In fact this person is angry with God for even being born, life is burden he never asked for.  This person is a good person with a good life, I cannot understand not wanting to have been born.  Please give me some guidance what to say to this person.   Thank you.

Answer
Anne,

There are two issues here. The one issue is the correct understanding of the passage. Jesus encouraged us to love others as we love ourselves because, by nature, we all love ourselves. We all want what's best for ourselves. We focus on our own needs and interests more than those of others. So Jesus used something we're familiar with to teach us to convey that to others--focusing some of our attention on others, and on their needs and desires.

The other isse, however, is more to the point. Your friend seems to be suffering from severe depression, or at least from an incorrect view of himself. He apparently has a very low self-esteem and does not understand how much God values Him. He also seems to be taking for granted God's blessings, as life itself and all that is good is a gift from God.

Is this person a believer? Has he placed His trust in Jesus Christ for salvation? Has he been born again? (See John 1:12, 3:1-21, 5:24, Romans 3:23, 6:23, 10:9-13.) If not, then maybe God is trying to get his attention. His greatest need is to be saved, and God may be bringing him to the end of himself to show him that, despite all that life in this world has to offer, no one can be truly happy apart from God.

If your friend is a believer, then he is living a defeated life. There could be numerous reasons for that. Perhaps sin, perhaps guilt, maybe a failure to nurture a one-on-one relationship with God through Bible reading and prayer, maybe the failure to find a solid, evangelical, Bible-believing church home in which to learn, fellowship, and serve. Maybe other issues.

I would strongly suggest that you find a trustworthy Christian individual whom you respect and secure this person's help in finding qualified Bible-based counseling for your friend.

Please write back if I can help further.

Scott