Expert: Brent Wilson - 2/14/2007

Question
My parents have not been supportive of my marriage (27 months of marriage).  Their disapproval has distance our relationship.  They dislike my husband even more. I would love to help them understand that why I am standing side-by-side with my husband.  Can you help me show them my reason by supportive scriptures in the bible?  As well as help me to interpret it?

Answer
Dear Tina,

Thank you for the question.  Marriage seems to find controversy when it comes to parents and young people.  Although in your question it doesn’t state who old you are, that is usually where disapproval comes from parents.  Parents often see things that we don’t when it comes to the one we love.  Would they feel this way if you were marrying someone else or just this man?  Is this man a believer?  Parents often do not want there children to marry outside the faith.

God is the author of marriage.  

Genesis 2:21-25 (New King James Version)
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 And Adam said:
     “This is now bone of my bones
     And flesh of my flesh;
     She shall be called Woman,
     Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Right from the start God gives instructions that parents and children can follow.  Verse 24 says Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  A man is to leave his parent and to be joined to his wife.  The wife is to leave her parents and be joined to her husband and the two of them become one.  Once the marriage has taken place, parents need to become supportive of this new union.

If your parents are upset that you married an unbeliever, God gives instruction on that subject through the apostle Paul.

Keep Your Marriage Vows
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

Marriage is a very serious subject with God.  The instruction given here is that a wife is to remain with her husband and the husband with his wife.  It doesn’t matter whether or not the person is a believer or an unbeliever.  

While parents may not like the choice we make when it comes to the partner we choose, God instructs everyone on the matter.  Parents are to be supportive regardless of there views and the persons getting married need to keep there vows.  In the end, God receives the glory and honor when His children listen to Him.

In time, the relationship will begin to heal.  Pray for them, visit them when you can, invite them to your home when ever possible, birthdays, kids school functions etc.  

Brent