Expert: Brenda Martin - 2/14/2007

Question
My parents have not been supportive of my marriage (27 months of marriage).  Their disapproval has distance our relationship.  They dislike my husband even more. I would love to help them understand that why I am standing side-by-side with my husband.  Can you help me show them my reason by supportive scriptures in the bible?  As well as help me to interpret it?

Answer
"CAN YOU HELP ME SHOW THEM MY REASON BY SUPPORTIVE SCRIPTURES IN THE BIBLE?"  

Some time after Adam was created, “God went on to say: ‘It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.’” (GENESIS 2:18) God created Eve as “a complement,” not as a competitor. Marriage was not to be like a ship with two competing captains. The husband was to exercise loving headship, and the wife was to manifest love, respect, and willing submission.

However, a good wife is more than just submissive. She tries to be a real helper, being supportive of her husband in the decisions he makes. Of course, that is easier for her when she agrees with his decisions. But even when she does not, her active support can help his decision to have a more successful outcome.

A wife can help her husband to be a good head in other ways. She can express appreciation for his efforts in taking the lead, instead of criticizing him or making him feel that he can never satisfy her. In dealing with her husband in a positive way, she should remember that a “quiet and mild spirit . . . is of great value in the eyes of God,” not just in the eyes of her husband. (1 PETER 3:3, 4; COLOSSIANS 3:12) What if the husband is not a believer?

Whether he is or not, the Scriptures encourage wives “to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sound in mind, chaste, workers at home, good, subjecting themselves to their own husbands, so that the word of God may not be spoken of abusively.” (TITUS 2:4, 5) If matters of conscience come up, an unbelieving husband is more likely to respect his wife’s position if it is presented with a “mild temper and deep respect.” Some unbelieving husbands have been “won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of [their] chaste conduct together with deep respect.”—1 PETER 3:1, 2, 15; 1 CORINTHIANS 7:13-16.

Wives too have a measure of power in the family. The Bible tells of godly women who, within the framework of proper headship, took the initiative to influence their husbands in a positive way or to help them avoid errors in judgment. (GENESIS 21:9-12; 27:46–28:2) A wife may have a keener mind than her husband has, or she may have other abilities that he does not have. Yet, she is to have “deep respect” for her husband and to “be in subjection” to him “as to the Lord.” (EPHESIANS 5:22, 33) Thinking in terms of pleasing God can help a wife to use her abilities to support her husband rather than belittling him or trying to dominate him. Such a “truly wise woman” cooperates closely with her husband to build up the family. She thereby maintains peace with God.—PROVERBS 14:1.

I hope this information helps.

All the best
Brenda