Expert: Paul Walker - 5/3/2004

Question
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Followup To
Question -
Dear sir,

I am married and having a satifactory married and healthy sexual life.We both are firm believer in Jesus Christ as our personal saviour and master.We know that due to the grace of our Almighty God through Jesus Christ we are saved and having all the resourcefulness of this life.Although we are regular church goers and having daily family prayer before going to bed we still harbour a strange desire,is in relation to the sex,and which we feel is of utmost importance to be clarified as per the word of GOD!
We would like to have sex together with another sex partners  who are also married and having healthy marrital status and preferably of same faith as ours.This sexual affair we would like to keep it very open and transperent among ourselves so that there is no question of any adultry or backlash in the marrital status of both the couples.When ever we want to have sex we intend to keep it as a game and have it together,no emotional hang ups.We want to avoid sex incase of a situation wherein any of the partner is absent.We would like to know whether the orgy parties we keep reading or watching on TV is in any way related to what we are thinking.I have been praying on this issue however,I am not getting any satisfactory answer neither we are getting rid of this desire.We have extremenely satifying sexual activity and both of us enjoy it but these thoughts always cris cross our minds even when we have sex.We always discuss about this but would never indulge if it is against the word of GOD however,we seek an answer through word of GOD.

Please pray for us and help us.

With kind regards,

Sanjeev


Answer -

Dear Brother & Sister,

Thank you for your question. It is not a difficult question to answer, in fact you have already answered a large part of it. Yes, what you are taking in; pornography TV, Book, etc., is affecting your thinking, the contemporary term is "Garbage In, Garbage Out". Your giving yourself wholly over to the flesh and not walking in the spirit. God has instructed us on what we are to think upon.

    Philippians 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are
    TRUE, whatsoever things are HONEST, whatsoever things
    are JUST, whatsoever things are PURE, whatsoever things
    are LOVELY, whatsoever things are of GOOD REPORT; if
    there be ANY VIRTUE, and if there be ANY PRAISE, THINK
    ON THESE THINGS.

It is unfortunate that what has been put in the mind already is there to stay. You have quite a battle ahead if you desire to change. There is a very deep and basic problem here and that is the desires of the heart.

Let me say that what a husband and wife do is there own business.

    Hebrews 13:4  MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE IN ALL, AND THE BED
    UNDEFILED: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Outside of marriage, however, all is sin, regardless of consent. Do you not think that adulterers and fornicators are not consenting in there acts. Any such sex for married couples whether consenting or not is adultery. The act is against God and the nature and laws of his creation not against an unknowing or unconsenting spouse. If consent mattered there would be no sin. What you have described is biblically whoremongering, it would be fornication and adultery.

Our lives as a Christian is suppose to be holy, godly and righteousness. We direct the desires of the heart, either toward the flesh and the things of this world or toward God. This is the choice you have to make. Everything we do is suppose to glorify God. I do not see how this type of thing could possible do that.

    1 Corinthians 10:31  Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or
    WHATSOEVER YE DO, DO ALL TO THE GLORY OF GOD.

All sin falls under one or more of three classifications, the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life.

    1 John 2:16  For all that is in the world, THE LUST OF THE
    FLESH, AND THE LUST OF THE EYES, AND THE PRIDE OF LIFE, IS
    NOT OF THE FATHER, BUT IS OF THE WORLD.

    Galatians 5:19  Now THE WORKS OF THE FLESH ARE MANIFEST,
    WHICH ARE THESE; ADULTERY, FORNICATION, UNCLEANNESS,
    LASCIVIOUSNESS,...

I would suggest to you that you spend the time you have to engage in such activities in reading God's word. You will not understand it until you know it and if you put that in you righteousness is more likely to come out. (I recommend the King James Version of 1611)

I hope this helps and that you consider it carefully. I would be more than glad to hear from you further if you desire to understand God's word and seek his will.

Your Servant In Christ Jesus,

Paul Walker
www.aficj.org

Answer
Dear Brother & Sister,

I received this follow up but I do not see any follow up. I apologize for this intrusion if this is an error. However, I would just like to reaffirm that I am at your service.

Praying for you,

Your Servant In Christ Jesus,

Paul Walker
www.aficj.org