Expert: Clifford H. Readout, Jr. - 4/26/2004

Question
This is a simple question, but it has been worrying me.  Will you go to hell if you have sex before marriage?

Answer
This is a simple question, but it has been worrying me.  Will you go to hell if you have sex before marriage?

Dear Ryan,

Thank you for having the courage to ask this question. I want to help you with the answer.

This is a relatively simple question, but it is a very important question today in every culture. Therefore, I will give a little more than a quick answer, and give direction for where you can find what God's Word has to say about some of the issues involved.  In addition, I want to recommend a small book by Roy Hession, titled “Forgotten Factors.”  It may be out of print now, but you might still obtain a copy of it from one of these web sites:
http://www.parable.com/fh/item_0875082343.htm
http://www.christianity-books.com/Forgotten_Factors_0875082343.html
(I have no connection with either of these sites, or with the author or publisher. I just highly recommend this book when dealing with this subject.)

Sex before marriage is a very serious sin, both in the Old Testament and in the New Testament.

In some cases, depending on the specifics of the situation, it was a capital offense, meaning it was to be punished by death. Whoredom, adultery and rape all carried the death penalty. Thus, those who engaged in sexual relations with someone other than their spouse, they were to be put to death. You can find the relevant texts in Leviticus, chapters 20-22.

However, in the case of an unmarried man convincing an unmarried woman to have sex with him the penalty was not death, but either a great financial cost and marriage, or a greater financial cost, depending on the decision of the woman's father. There is no difference in the penalty depending on the method the man used to entice the woman. The marriage was not to be postponed, but the price paid and the marriage sealed as soon as the father of the woman dictated. The relevant texts can be found in Exodus 22 and Deuteronomy 22.

One passage in the Bible uniquely details the serious nature of virginity:
Deuteronomy 22:13-21 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14 And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: 15 Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: 16 And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; 17 And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18 And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; 19 And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. 20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Notice what this says.  It is expected that a new bride will be a virgin, and if she is found to have had sexual relations prior to her marriage, and her husband was not aware of it before he married her, she was to be put to death.  If she is falsely accused by her husband, for whatever reason, he would have to pay a large sum of money to her father, and would be forbidden to divorce her under any circumstances thereafter.  There can be no conclusion other than that virginity is a treasure to be protected until marriage, when it is given to one's spouse.

The New Testament contains many passages which condemn fornication, the word used for sexual activity outside of the limits of a proper marriage. (I will include some at the end of this answer.) These texts also illustrate the devastating nature of sexual activity before marriage. For those who might object that only the Old Testament passages only apply to the Jews, we have specific proofs to the contrary in the account of the decision of the apostles concerning what moral prohibitions non-Jewish Christians had to obey. Fornication was among them. (See Acts 15:20, Acts 15:29, Acts 21:25.)

God established principles and laws which prohibit sex prior to marriage, and/or outside of marriage.  His laws were not intended to be punitive, but protective.  They are designed to deter us from creating situations which cause harm to ourselves or others.  The real punishments result from the damage caused by the violations themselves, and penalties to be imposed by the law are to act as deterrents to keep others from inflicting those damages upon themselves and others.  He also established the penalties as the limits to which men could exact “justice.”  In other words, “an eye for an eye” did not demand the payment of an “eye for an eye,” but rather demanded that men not extract “a life for an eye,” or any unequal recompense.  There was no prohibition against forgiveness!  Justice With Mercy is the rule as He has presented it.  Judgment With Limits is how men usually interpret it.
God also established the “cause and effect” system.  (Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.)  His word warns about effects, and discourages us from creating certain causes.  He makes no promise to help us avoid the temporal effects we cause.  He did provide a very costly salvation to give us an opportunity to avoid the everlasting effects.

Now, for the specific answer to your question, “Will [someone] go to hell if [they] have sex before marriage?” Sex before marriage is a sin, and unless one experiences the salvation provided by Jesus Christ, any sin is enough to condemn the soul in the judgment. If you are interested in what the Bible teaches about how to experience salvation, please email me at this email address: readout@earthlink.net. I will send you one of my copyrighted Bible studies which you may use as a guide. I will not initiate any other contact with you, but will gladly respond to email you send to me.

I hope I can be a help to you.

Yours for truth,

CR

New testament texts mentioning fornication:
Romans 1:29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
1Corinthians 5:1 It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
1Corinthians 6:13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
1Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1Corinthians 10:8 Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.
2Corinthians 12:21 And lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and that I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repented of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed.
Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Ephesians 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
Colossians 3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
1Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: