Expert: Mrs. Priscilla Lyons - 9/26/2004

Question
Hi,
I'm confused. Is it ever justifiable for a man to marry a divorced woman. Verses like Matt. 5: 32 seem to teach NO but others disagree. Does fornication break the marriage vow thus giving the innocent party a chance to remarry? What is your take on this controversial subject?

Thanks!

Answer
Dear Joe,
   Thank you for writing.  I'll admit that this subject is confusing.  You have probably already studied all the pertinent verses.  Some claim that I Cor. 7:15 gives liberty to remarry, but I think the context (especially vs. 20) calls for contentment and Christian service in a spouseless situation if the spouse has initiated divorce.  
   Of course God hates divorce, but since divorce can't be stopped by an innocent party...  So often family relations get so confusing with divorce and remarriage, that even the most compelling cases for remarriage often have obvious drawbacks.  Christianity would be more credible to the world if there were more of a difference between Christians and non-Christians in this area.  Remarriage doesn't allow time for God to change and restore a marriage, but what is an innocent party to do when the spouse divorces and marries someone else?
   Personally, I believe churches should discourage remarriage and encourage the innocent party to bear the loneliness and difficulties of this short, temporary life without a physical spouse, as a witness not only to the ugly consequences of the sin of the one who initiated the divorce, but also as a witness to the reliability and fulfillment of a Christian's relationship with God.  In other words, is God really enough when things go wrong?  
   God looks at the heart, and, since Jesus fulfilled the letter of the law, I believe God's Spirit will lead a person who is truly willing (by relying on God's power) to "deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me" (Lk.9:23), to do the right thing, considering all the circumstances.  I can't say categorically that remarriage is always wrong, in every situation, but there is enough evidence Biblically and socially to be very careful with decisions in this area.  
   Since our created purpose is to reflect His image, can we better reflect God's true nature by remarriage or by abstaining?  I think that would be a valid question to guide a Christian's decision.
   I believe Romans 14:21 should be considered also.  Remarriage may encourage younger Christians to not be so careful in their marriage choice, since it's so acceptable to "get it right" later if you make a mistake the first time.
   I hope these thoughts might help you counsel people to allow God to use such situations to draw them closer to Him.  I think Christians have to walk a fine line between helping people avoid bad decisions, and at the same time recognizing that, after we have done or said what God wants us to, the responsibility and judgment call of what's right or wrong for another person, is between them and the Lord.  
   Thank you for your question that has helped me consider this issue more fully than before.
   Priscilla Lyons