Expert: Scott Talbot - 4/27/2007

Question
Sometimes I can't breathe!

 I'm not a very good Christian, and would like to change (especially due to fear of eternal damnation), but often feel helpless.  I don't know where to start because, it has occurred to me, that if the teachings of the Bible are really as strict as they appear to be, then... how is it possible that any of us born today may be saved?

I think the biggest thing boils down to wanting to be a good/normal person in this world.  That includes society's pressures to excel at school and have goals of career and family.  Is it a sin to have a career goal? Is it not bad since this may somehow reflect some sort of pride and desire for worldly status? (Is worldly status a sin?)

I wonder this because so much of that - conforming to society - takes the emphasis away from faith and God in that it causes me all kinds of worry about making grades and finding summer jobs to earn enough money and owning enough clothes so that I can do laundry only once a week (coin laundry is costly, and seems wasteful if I were to do it every day)... AND THEN! the outfits I have, I feel good in. I feel bad for feeling good.  (These are only some examples.)

In addition, are we sinners, for example, if we buy coffee at Tim Horton's? Coffee does not have the best track record with regards to human rights and capitalism.  Tim Horton's is a huge business, so participating in that is like condoning acts of greed.  So it seems - when I really get thinking about it.  But, unless I grow all my own food, I am participating in this market.  

I think I want to say that I get this strong urge that the best, most pure thing I could do is go off and avoid everything in our culture; however, I don't think I'm capable of that.  

I also feel indecisive because I can't decide where to go to church.  I find myself casting judgement everywhere, especially on those who belong to churches.  

And mostly it feels like I am making excuses.  How do I repent my whole life, and how do I turn it around?

This is quite rambly, but in essence, I feel helpless as if there is no way to not sin in the world I somehow feel restricted to.  What, if anything, should I do?

(I was baptized when I was eleven, but don't think I have done a very good job of being a responsible Christian since that time)

Thanks for your help.

Answer
Hi, Laura. It's nice to hear from you.

Let me see if I understand your question. You are struggling with the idea that you want to be a good person, but you find it difficult to do so consistently. Then you get frustrated and wonder if it's even worth it. Is that about right?

First, let me say that you are not alone. Everyone fails. Everyone sins. (See Romans 3:23.)

Yes, the Bible has a lot of rules and laws. But what's interesting is that God tells us in Galatians 3:24 that the purpose of the law was to prove to us that we cannot keep it. Therefore, the lesson is that we need God. We need someone outside of us to save us.

All of us have sinned and have offended a holy God. And, try as we might, we will continue to sin against God. Romans 6:23 tells us that the wages of sin is death--physical death, and spiritual death (eternal separation from God). This same verse also tells us that "the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ His Son."

We cannot save ourselves. We cannot live a life that pleases God. But Jesus did. And, because He died in our place and served our death sentence, He has provided to us the gift of salvation (Romans 10:9-13). All we have to do is trust Jesus to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves, and to call on God to save us.

Have you done that yet, Laura? (Read John 3:1-21.) Note: It's not about being baptized. And it isn't about trying to live a good life. See Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:5.

OK, so what happens after one is saved, or "born again" into God's family (John 1:12, 3:3). Does he instantly become perfect? No. His sins are forgiven--past, present, and future. But he still struggles with sin.

The good news is that, in addition to the old nature, he now has a new nature--one that wants to please God. This new desire is one that wants to please God, not out of obligation, but out of love and gratitude. It still will not guarantee perfection. But it will lead to a growing personal relationship with God in which we will grow to be the person he wants us to be.

Ephesians 6:10-18 tells us that we fight a spiritual battle. To be victorious, we need to take the Armor of God--tools that God provides us--to fight the battle, and to resist temptation.

One of the things to understand in pleasing God is that it isn't just about a legalistic approach to right and wrong. It's good to be conscientious about doing what's right, but it shouldn't be about doing right just for the sake of what's right. More importantly, it should be about growing closer to God and trying to please Him.

I sense you're struggling with a great deal of guilt right now. And part of it is because you don't really know what's OK and what isn't OK. Ask God to guide you and to help you to do what's right. But try to get past the guilt. God doesn't want you to be wallowing in guilt all your life. And over-analyzing everything you do will lead to just that--guilt and bondage.

Again, it's about God, and forming a close personal relationship with Him. The more that happens, the more your lifestyle will conform to what God wants.

I hope that helps. Feel free to write back if you would like to talk further.

Scott