Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 9/2/2005

Question
A friend is having a hard time letting go of a past relationship. She knows that this person does not care for her the way she wants him to and he is taking advantage of her kindness and generosity. She as leant him monies in the past that he has not paid back, he knows how to play on her sympothies and is now asking for another $500.00 loan. She said she knows he's just playing her but she is reminded of the scripture "do unto others". I told her that I would find her a scripture to show her that it doesn't mean she is to let people use her. Could you help?

Answer
Dear Jannae,

Thanks for this great question.  THere is an Old English term for one bailing out another with loans or co-signing for loans...the term is "providing surety, or suretiship.  Let us see what the Biblew says about such a pracitce:

Proverbs 11:15
15 He that is surety for a stranger shall smart for it: and he that hateth suretiship is sure.   

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

Proverbs 17:18
18 A man void of understanding striketh hands, and becometh surety in the presence of his friend.  

The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

The Bible says that one who gives loans out easily lacks understanding.  Now let us consider what the Bible says about the "boyfriend" who continues to ask for more and more money.

Romans 13:8
8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

If we are not to owe each other money...then obviously he is not showing love to her by trying to get deeper into debt and owe her more money.

I hope that this is a  help to you.

In Christ,
Pastor Don