Expert: Marilyn - 12/9/2004

Question
Can you give me a virse to show me that proves people are not born gay.So many people are beliveing they are born this way. how can they let that life go why do they have such desire to ack on this way of life? I know it is much easyer now because it is more exceped in the world today but that dosent make it ok. How can I answer them when they say God made me this way?

Answer
Hi Tina!

Great thoughtful questions you're asking.  Keep up that focus and thoughtfulness.

To answer your question, in a sense, yeah, they're born gay; we're all born to sin.  So whatever sin we're committing today, we could excuse ourselves and say, "Well, I was born that way," but you and I know that's no excuse.  Certainly a man who enjoys committing murder shouldn't get away with that excuse!  Neither should a homosexual person.  

Each of us has built in some weakness to which we may fall if we're not careful.  For some people it's drunkenness, for others it's deceitfulness, everybody has a weak point.  On the other hand, nobody was born drunk, they got that way giving in to weakness, thinking wrong thoughts and not putting God first.  And in that same sense, nobody is born homosexual either, they got that way thinking wrong thoughts, giving in to weakness and not putting God first.

Genesis 1:27, "God created man in His Own Image, in the Image of God He created him; male and female He created them."  God did not say, "God created man in His Own Image, man and man or woman and woman!" UGH!

Genesis 2:23 & 24, "The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man" For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."  The two halves that God separated when He took Eve from Adam are reunited in marriage once again, making the complete Image of God together.

So, you see, the Image of God is made complete in marriage when the man and the woman become one flesh.  It is an insult to God's Image for a man to be with a man or a woman to be with a woman!  God didn't create human beings to act like that!  

The Image of God is broken when men are together with men, women with women, children are born to unwed mothers or parents divorce.  This is why children from broken homes have such a hard time, they don't have the complete picture of God mirrored in their parents.  Children need to see both sides of God, the strong fatherly side and the soft, motherly side.  Also, children whose parents are abusive have trouble relating to God because the abusive parent has damaged the Image of God in the child's mind and heart.

God says homosexuality is a sin and like all sexual sins it's worse than some others because it is done in the temple of God, the body, I Corinthians 3:16.  But Jesus can free the homosexual from his sin and restore him to right standing with God.  

Paul says, I Corinthians 6:9-11, "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived:  Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God.  AND THAT IS WHAT SOME OF YOU WERE.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."

People are told by the current culture, the media in particular, that they're born homosexual and homosexuals have done a lot to promote that idea because they want to stop feeling so guilty and awful.  They think that if they can just get everyone to agree they're not sinning, maybe even force straight people to let them marry just like straight people do they'll feel better about themselves, but it won't work.  They can't marry because man with man and woman with woman isn't marriage, only man and woman together is marriage.  And, regardless of how much they can get the TV to say homosexuality is ok or how many judges will marry them, deep in their hearts they'll still be miserable.  

Why does the drunk keep drinking?  Why does the obese person keep eating?  Whatever the sin, there's some kind of an exchange going on between the person and the sin and sometimes a demon is involved who adds a little extra jolt of something the person needs, a counterfeit of something that person needs from God.  Perhaps the drunk drinks because when he drinks he can forget his worries and the demon gives him something I call "demon candy," something that sorta meets a need in the person's life, but isn't good for him.  Like candy which satisfies hunger, but ultimately will make a person sick if he eats enough of it, demon candy seems to satisfy a need, but ultimately only puts the person into greater bondage than ever before.  The obese person eating because he's lonely is a good example of trying to fill that emptiness, meanwhile the food and the demon involved give him a little "demon candy," something he needs to feel better in the moment, but really only makes things worse in the long run.  

Meanwhile, God is waiting to take all those worries and solve them for the drunk and waiting to comfort the obese person, but they don't turn to Him either because they don't know they can or they think God is going to be mad at them or they feel unworthy and they don't realize God loves them no matter what.

A homosexual person probably already thinks God is mad at him.  Most, I'm sure, have heard that God hates homosexuality and the homosexual may think that means God hates him, but nothing could be farther from the truth.  God desperately loves every person as if he or she were the only person ever created.  

The homosexual is a homosexual because some need they have is sort of being met through homosexuality and they can't see an alternative.  As in your other question about ignorance, it's more likely that ignorance will kill someone than help them, homosexuals need to know God loves them and He has supplied a way out for them to a better, more joyful life.

Be sure and show your love for the homosexual person so that they can see the Image of God in you.  You are probably the closest that homosexual person is going to get to God, at least for now.  There is hope in God.  As Paul said, some of his church members in Corinth used to be homosexuals, but Jesus freed them and He can free homosexuals today just as easily as He did back then, that's the good news!

Also, remember, it's not your job to win the person to God, it's the Holy Spirit's job.  Pray before you speak and say what comes to your mind, if you feel you should hush, then hush and don't say anymore.  Don't ignore that hint to be quiet when it comes and don't ignore the hint to talk when it comes either.  The Holy Spirit will show you what to say if you rely on Him and listen.

Keep studying your Bible, especially for this case in Romans and Corinthians.

hugs to you,
Marilyn