Expert: Marilyn - 12/12/2006

Question
Ok I'm 19, I graduated from high school by the grace of God, I got a job,and started going to community college. I REALLY wanted to go right off to a four year university but I guess it wasn't Gods will however I'm so confused. I mean things are ok but I think while i been out of school for these last 6 months Life has really taking a toll over me and I feel the need to find my purpose in life. I'm trying to just let go and let god do everything in my life but it so overwhelming. Sometimes I don't feel like I don't have a purpose. REWIND: i forgot to mention I live with my dad and he is a firm believer in Jesus Christ and i have a best friend named Brittany that I've had for about 7 years. Me and Brittany come from to different backgrounds;however,we both go to church. Or we used to.Anyways we've never really discussed our faith to one another but one time in 10th grade I avoided all her phone calls and refused to talk to her for almost half a yr. It was hard but I did it. At the time I wasn't even sure why I stopped talking to her but God soon showed me It was apart of the plan. FAST FORWARD a little: So some years go by I move with my dad from my moms and me and Brittany are back friends. During that time period away from her I did some self searching and I felt I could get out there and do the same things I used to but I just got sucked right back in to the same crowd. Smoking weed, partying,and do what i wanted to basically. I stopped going to church RIGHT AFTER I GOT OUT OF SCHOOL which was 6 mths ago.Need i say I've Never really missed a sunday since i was born and All of a sudden I was SO TIRED and now I realize I let the devil fool me and made me THINK i didn't have to go church but I really did need to. So I'm smoking and hanging out and at the same time not paying attention to what I had in front of me I quit my job. School ended about a week ago from today. I also realized that smoking was a big problem of mine and I sort of did to make sense of/take away my problems but it didn't. Getting high everyday (JUST MARIJUANA THOUGH)just brought more problems. So today I quit (Thank u lord) and I read on why I should and how I stay away from it. But the question is what now? I love Brittany with all my heart but I can't do the things she does.  And maybe it is time to explore and meet other people who can help encourage me to do the better things in life but I'm not sure. She's always been there for me but I don't want her to get in the way of me going to heaven. Her faith is DIFFERENT from mine. And I wont get into that but I don't understand how she claims to be CHRISTIAN so to speak but doesn't ever bring her bible with her. I look at it as disrespect but whatever.I like to party but I don't like clubs anymore. My spirit is asking for more and I can't because I feel like I'm still immature in Christ. I can't even stand up for God when someone starts G-D'ing(swearing) everything. I couldnt even realize Weed would probably bring me to my death because I was ignorant. I think it's the people I involve myself around, I don't know but can you just help me make sense of what's to come? I want to prosper in life although I might need a little shove. I'm sure you do not have all the answers but I'm also aware you were a teen once and you've had to make some judgement calls.Is letting Brittany go something I have to do to mature in Christ?She's like my sister. Oh yeah my dad found out that we smoke last week so Brittany can't come over anymore so I guess I have an answer w/in the question, huh?

Answer
I had one tiny error in this answer that I did notice, but failed to fix before I sent it.  In the paragraph that says, " Those warriors who are being prepped for the greatest feats are those who must endure the most suffering, as David did, so that they will be ready for battle."  It should say, "so that they will be ready to rule--to become king or queen."

Until David suffered all those things, he wasn't ready to be king.  That's one reason Saul was so pathetic, he didn't have any training and he wasn't ready for the job.

Thanks for the ratings!

Marilyn

First, be encouraged.  You're way ahead of me when I was your age.  When I was 18, I had a chance to go out of state to college.  The Lord wanted me to stay home, but I rebelled.  It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I came to my senses.  I smoked pot and drank.  I tried acid and mushrooms.  I did what the world says is cool--you're there, you know what I'm talking about.  The world says it is cool, but that way of life leads to death.

The Lord is with you.  He is in the middle of your suffering, unseen and maybe some of the time, unfelt.  When I look back at those lost years, I can see God's Hand keeping the worst of what I deserved from falling on my head.  People say, "God allows this or that..." usually referring to something bad.  God gets blamed for a lot of things, but usually God didn't do it, we did it to ourselves.  If He does anything at all, it's keeping us from getting everything we deserve.  

All you've endured, all your mistakes, all your stupidities, the pain of feeling lost and not knowing what to do next, God can use to make gold.  Remember, in the Old Testament David wandered around, a man without a home, fighting enemies constantly, living on charity for many years; King Saul was always on his heels trying to kill him.  Those warriors who are being prepped for the greatest feats are those who must endure the most suffering, as David did, so that they will be ready for battle.

When I was five years old I knew my destiny was to become a great artist.  At the time, I didn't know anything about art except the cartoons in the Sunday funnies.  Later, in college, I wanted to be on the cover of Time magazine, like Louisa Nevelson, the sculptor.  But I destroyed that dream with my rebellion.  Perhaps the Lord will one day restore it to me, but for now I walk a different path.  I'm writing a science fiction novel series about finding God.  It is still art, only with words.  

You may have been given a dream when you were a child.  Perhaps you've forgotten it because it seemed so far fetched.  The fact is, if your dream was/is far fetched, it's a sign the dream comes from God!  Nobody can dream bigger than He can!!!  And nobody can achieve those humongous dreams better than He can when a person is willing to surrender and obey.  The Lord has a huge dream for you, big plans, bigger than anything you can imagine.  I know it doesn't make sense, but the suffering you're now enduring and your weakness to stand are evidence of this.  Everything with God is backwards of what seems to make sense to us.  Charles Colson, one of the Watergate lawyers serving President Nixon, discovered that all his success as a great lawyer was nothing.  Until he fell and ended up in prison and surrendered to God, he was nothing.  The lowest point in his life was the point that God saw as his highest, because it was at that moment he gave up and received Jesus as Lord.  

To find your destiny, get quiet before the Lord and plan to spend an hour.  You may not actually use all that time, you might use more, but if you've made up your mind that nothing else will intrude during that hour you'll have focus.  Try to keep your mind from talking to itself and just listen.  First, start by praising God.  If you don't know how, find a praise Psalm, like Psalm 103, and read it aloud a few times.  Praise God and thank Him for the good things you have right now.  Even if all you can think of is the fact you have a warm bed and good water to drink, thank Him, there are some people who don't have those things.  Then just listen.  When your mind starts talking, tell it to hush and try listening again.

God can and will speak.  I know a lot of people think it's insane for a person to believe God can literally speak to someone, but we were created for fellowship with Him.  We were created to sit in His lap and enjoy Him.  You were created to Hear His Voice.  Jesus said, "My sheep know My Voice," John 10.  Praise God first and then listen.  It might take awhile for you to get the hang of it.  Try listening to a branch hitting the house or to the faucet drip and not think about what you're hearing, just listen.  Most people in the modern era don't spend any time listening.  They have the radio on, the headphones on, the TV on.  With all that noise, no wonder they can't hear God!  Ask God to show you your dream.  "Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know," Jeremiah 33:3

You can praise God while you're crying in pain and it can be very real, Hebrews 13:15.  Even little kids can run off the devil by praising God, "From the lips of children and infants You have ordained praise because of Your enemies to silence the foe and the avenger," Psalm 8:2.  

You're very important to God.  You were created to fulfill a destiny only you can fulfill.  You are unique, a special treasure, Jesus' sister or brother, a Prince or Princess in His eyes.  God may not tell you anything more than what you need to do tomorrow, but that's enough!  If you ask Him, He'll even suggest what you should wear and which way to drive, what to have for dinner.  He has time for the most mundane things.  Once you learn to hear His Voice, you won't have to wander around feeling lost.  

If God asks you to do something terrifying (He's not going to ask you to do something sinful!), something like go over to that person and speak to them, if you feel terrified, it's God and you should do it.  Living for God and doing God's will should be terrifying because it's then we know we can't succeed unless He does the real work.  Getting in the habit of doing the terrifying things God asks will satisfy that God-given craving for thrills.  Learning how to hear His Voice will satisfy that craving for pot.  Getting high and getting drunk are just the devil's poor substitutes for God's Presence.  What you're really craving is to feel God's Presence, to be drunk with His Love, drunk with His Joy, drunk in His Arms.  When you start receiving those needs satisfied by God you won't even be tempted to get high anymore.  Praising God can go a long way toward satisfying cravings.  Praise puts you in the throne room of God.  If you praise God all of the time, you can bask in His Glow 24/7.

God doesn't expect you to overcome all of these challenges instantly.  You don't learn to stand up for Him all at once.  You do it a little at a time.  First, realize your spirit man already has all the power you need to overcome and fulfill your destiny.  Your spirit man who was reborn when you accepted Jesus as Savior has a direct line to God and as Jesus' brother or sister you have access to everything Jesus owns!  However, your material man, consisting of your body and soul, which is your mind, will and emotions, are used to being the boss.  Your spirit man has the power available, but has no experience in using it.  Your material man is used to being in charge and he will always choose what satisfies him at the moment, he'll always go for the easy high, the fast kick.  The key for you is to learn how to tap into that power your spirit man has available to him through the Holy Spirit.  Just like any other warrior, you must begin your training and now is the time to start.  

The Word of God is both your weapon and your food.  Start with the Word, get a Bible with a concordance if you don't already have one and start using it.  The concordance has lists of words and where to find them in the Scriptures.  You want to look up Scriptures that tell who you are in the Lord (heir, joint-heir, "in Christ," son, children, sheep), you want battle scriptures (battle, fortress, shield, deliverer, strength), you want comfort Scriptures (love, confess, faithful, just, spirit) and you want food Scriptures (faith, hope, joy, peace, self-control or discipline).  Copy down the verses on note cards and carry them around with you.  You're in training.  You're going to train your material man to obey your spirit man while at the same time training your spirit man to be the boss.

Paul says "faith comes by hearing and that by the Word of God," Romans 10:17.  Jesus says, "You shall have what you say," Mark 12:23.  You want faith, you want strength, you shall have what you say.  Read the verse out loud:  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," Philippians 4:13, it's yours, done deal.  Read that verse (and others like it) out loud to yourself as many times a day as necessary, even if it's every second.

Tape the Scriptures on your mirror, tape them on the dashboard of your car, tape them on your lamp by your bed.  This is war and the Word is your sword, get busy and start wielding it!  Read the Scriptures aloud every time you see them.  Have them in your pocket so you can read them aloud.  Say them aloud after you've memorized them.  You feel intimidated, you feel weak, read out loud:  "God did not give me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and self-control," II Timothy 1:7.  Do this from now on, as long as you live and you will only get stronger.  When you get up in the morning the devil will begin to tremble in fear.  Every time he comes at you, quote Scripture to him.  That's what Jesus did and it worked for Him, it will work for you, see Matthew 4.  Your spirit man will begin to grow stronger and your material man will become obedient.  You will begin to see results because the Word of the Lord will not fail, but will do what God has said it will do, Isaiah 55:10 & 11.  

"You shall have what you say" is the first principle taught in the Bible.  Look at Genesis 1.  Everything God created was the result of what He spoke.  He spoke and it happened, done deal.  Jesus said, "You shall have what you say," because it's the way God gets things done.  "And God said" appears seven times, which is the number of perfection.  It's a hint to those who are looking.  Copy God's methods, speak His Word and you will succeed.  Nothing will be able to stop you!

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him," Hebrews 11:6.  After love, faith is the greatest force in the universe.  It was by using His Faith that God spoke and received the entire universe!  Jesus said, "Have faith in God" or "Have the faith of God.  If you say to this mountain be removed and cast into the sea and do not doubt, you shall have what you say," Mark 11:22 & 23  "Faith comes by hearing," out come your cards again, quote the Scriptures and your faith will grow.

Abraham had doubt, otherwise he never would have slept with Hagar, but here's where Abraham succeeded and all too often Christians fail:  he never SPOKE words of doubt!  Remember, Jesus said, "You shall have what you say!"  Here's where the difference between your spirit man and your material man meets the road.  Your material man believes only what he can see, your spirit man believes God.  Deep in your heart you believe God, but out of your mouth comes doubt, stupid things, cussing, whatever.  If you speak doubt, your material man cancels everything the spirit man was believing to receive!  James says that the tongue is like a fire that can burn down an entire forest, it's a rudder that controls the destiny of a person, usually for the worst, James 3.  But if the worst is true, so is the best, as Jesus said, "You shall have what you say."  Master your tongue and you will succeed.  You master your tongue by quoting only Scripture.  If you can't quote Scripture, say nothing.  Sure, you're going to fail.  Every person in training fails more than he succeeds, especially in the beginning.  If you've ever played a sport, you know this is the case.  You fail, you ask God to forgive you, He forgives you, the enemy comes to attack your mind and tell you you're a worm, you quote Scripture to him, "I am an heir, a joint heir with Jesus," Galatians 4:7 or "God is faithful and just to forgive," I John 1:9.  Then you can tell the devil, "I'm forgiven, so shut up and buzz off in Jesus' Name."  "At the Name of Jesus every knee must bow," Philippians 2:10.  Then you can say, "So devil, bow!  And shut your mouth while you're at it!  My Brother, Jesus, "lives to intercede," Hebrews 7:25, and He's interceding for me right now, before my Father in Heaven, you have no right to come around here talking trash—Go! in Jesus Name!"  That's how you do battle and you learn to win by practicing.  When you fail you have another chance to practice, so practice.  You will see victory.

The Christian must love his neighbor.  After what you've suffered you can empathize with persons who're wandering around lost.  Brittany is important to you, but it may be best if you limit your contact with her to situations that do not interfere with your training.  Your Dad effectively "grounding" you gives you the perfect excuse for putting some distance.  Pray for Brittany, "the prayers of a righteous man are effective like dynamite," James 5:16 and you are made "righteous by the Blood of Jesus," I Peter 1:18 & 19.  Write to her, e-mail her.  See if you have as much a friendship on the phone and through letters as you do in person when you're partying.  If you don't, the relationship will fade of its own accord.  Limit your contact with people who party while you're in training.  Don't go looking for situations where you're likely to fail.  Until your spirit man rules your material man, you're not ready to handle that kind of stress.  We are called to be "salt and light" to the dying world and when your spirit man is the boss, you may be called to return to this partying crowd to show them Jesus.

Part of love is to approach a sinner without judgment.  Many people who begin to understand who they are in Christ (joint-heirs, owning everything He owns) and understand what sin does to a person (death) end up criticizing and judging people who are just like what they used to be.  Don't go there.  You wouldn't have responded to such a person when you were in your sin, don't act like that yourself.  Jesus was always kind and patient with desperate sinners, never condemning them, but also never pretending they weren't sinners either.  He's our example.  Read the Gospel of Mark all at once, it's the shortest Gospel, you can probably do it in an hour.  When you begin to get a picture of what kind of a person Jesus was, you begin to see what kind of a person you can and should be.

You don't say whether the church you normally attend is giving you any support.  If they are, keep going there.  Hang out with people who are living right and walking in love.  Sometimes we grow the most when we have to lead someone else.  Volunteer to help with something, maybe you could volunteer to help with the Jr. High kids.  Ask the Lord what He thinks you should do.  He'll let you know.  If your church isn't really giving you the support you need, ask your Dad if you guys can look for one that will.

I remember telling God, "I know you're the Rock, I know when I step out in faith You're right there under me, but do I have to step out in a fog?"  Learning to trust God and step out in the fog is part of your training.  Sometimes I still feel this way.  Sometimes I'm bewildered when I have to learn an old lesson again.  But God is patient and He's faithful.  He's right there beside you.  In your time when you're quiet, you can praise Him and climb into His lap and be comforted.  You don't have to have all the future mapped out right now; you just have to have strength for the next three minutes.  When those are over, you only need strength for the next three minutes after that.  Quote Scriptures and you will be transformed from weakness to strength.

The following is an excerpt from an article by Ravi Zacharias published in the Decision magazine, page 33, May 2006 issue:
   "In 1971, I was 25 years old and preaching in Vietnam.  I had a 17-year-old interpreter named Hien Pham.  We traveled the length and breadth of the country, all the way to the demilitarized zone.  Seventeen years later my phone rang.  It was Hien, and he was living in the United States, working on his MBA.  
   "He said that after Vietnam fell he was captured by the Viet Cong and put into prison.  Marxism was drilled into his head, and one night as he went to sleep, he said, "Tomorrow when I wake up, I won't pray.  Maybe God does not exist."
   "The next day he was assigned to clean the latrines.  As he was cleaning he saw in a waste bin a filthy piece of paper with English words.  He hosed it off and put it into his pocket.  Late at night, when everyone else was asleep, he flashed a flashlight on that piece of paper.  It was Romans, chapter 8:  "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose."  (Romans 8:28, KJV).
   "The commanding officer had been given a Bible.  He was tearing out pages and throwing them away in the latrine.  Hien started to sob and said, "God, You didn't let me go 12 hours without praying to You."
   "Hien asked if he could clean the latrines every day.  He would clean them, wash off the page from the Bible and have his devotions at night.
   "Years later, as he visited us in the United States, Hien took my children's hands and said, "Whenever you are tempted to go it alone, don't.  The God of all power and grace is always near at hand, and what He wants from you is an intimate relationship with Him."

Charles Colson in "A Dangerous Grace," writes:  "In Shanghai, Red Guards came for the university professors and businessmen first. Some as young as fifteen, the guards paraded the accused through the street in dunce caps to hastily arranged tribunals.

On September 27, 1966, Nien Cheng, a wealthy native of Shanghai, was brought before a tribunal as an imperialist spy.  As her accusers read a long list of false charges, others shouted angrily, "Confess!  Confess!"

"I have never done anything against the People's Government," Nien Cheng replied calmly.

She was taken to prison and locked into a small, damp cell.  The bed and walls were caked with dirt.  Weeks passed, while Nien Cheng dreamed of freedom.  Then, one day encouragement came from an unlikely source.

As Nien Cheng gazed out her tiny window, a pea-sized spider crawled through the rusty bars and climbed toward the ceiling.  Suddenly the spider swung out on a silken thread, attached the strand to the base of the bar, and spun another, then another, weaving a web of intricate beauty.  "I had just watched an architectural feat by an extremely skilled artist," Nien Cheng wrote.  "My mind was full of questions.  Who had taught the spider to make a web?  Could it have really acquired the skill through evolution, or did God create the spider and endow it with the ability to make a web so that it could catch food and perpetuate its species?

"I knew I had just witnessed something that was extraordinarily beautiful and uplifting.  I thanked God for what I had just seen.  It helped me to see that He was in control.  Mao Zedong and his revolutionaries seemed much less menacing.  I felt a renewal of hope and confidence."  

Charles Colson concludes, "That hope sustained Nien Cheng through six and a half years in prison.  But this is not just a story about the human spirit; it is a story about God and His sovereign power--God who can speak even through a spider's handiwork."

You have not suffered as much as these, yet your suffering is very real.  Just as God was with these persons, He is with you.  You are not alone.  "...after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast," I Peter 5:10.

This training is a lot of work, studying your Bible diligently is a lot of work, learning to hear God is a lot of work, but what else are you going to do?  Wandering around away from Him isn't working!  Do the work, I guarantee it will pay off.  You will find your purpose and you'll start enjoying life.

Below are helpful Scriptures listed by location in the Bible.  It's up to you to categorize them and to start reading them out loud.  Usually with anything involving walking with God, the first few steps look like they lead up a huge mountain and it's impossible, but once you start God steps up and starts carrying most of the load.  This is what is meant by Matthew 11:28-30.

I'll be praying for you,

Marilyn

Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

I Samuel 16:7, "...The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

I Samuel 17:47, "...it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's..."

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble," Psalm 9:9

"The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress and my Deliverer; my God is my Rock, in whom I take refuge.  He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies," Psalm 18:2 & 3

Psalm 33; 37:4; 55:22; 56:3; 60:12; 103; 107:20; 112:7; 119:11
Proverbs 3:5
Isaiah 40:28-31; 43:1 & 2
Jeremiah 29:11-13
Mark 10:29-31
John 5:24; 6:39 & 40, 63; 8:12, 31; 10:28; 11:25; 14:12, 14
Acts 10:34
Romans 3:22-25; 8:1, 15-17; 28-31; 12:2
I Corinthians 10:13, 31; 11:31
II Corinthians 1:3 & 4; 5:14; 21; 9:6 & 7; 10:5
Galatians 4:6; 5:1, 6, 14, 16 & 17, 22
Ephesians 1:7, 13 & 14; 2:6, 8; 3:20 & 21; 6:10-18
Philippians 1:6; 4:6-8, 13; 4:19
Colossians 1:10-13; 3:15
I Thessalonians 5:16; 23
II Thessalonians 1:6
II Timothy 2:5
Hebrews 4:12; 6:18; 7:25; 9:14; 10:23, 35 & 36; 11:1-3; 12:7; 13:8, 15
James 1:2-4, 13 & 14, 17, 22-25; 4:7; 5:16, 19 & 20
I Peter 1:3 & 4, 7, 18 & 19, 23; 2:9, 12, 24; 4:8; 57
II Peter 1:3
I John 1:9; 4:18; 5:3, 14