AboutClifford H. Readout, Jr. Expertise Expertise:
Preferred subject areas: Biblical doctrine, problem texts, and application
of Bible teachings in daily life. Willing to consider questions concerning
other aspects of Christianity, as well. Experience and qualifications:
Converted to Christianity in 1970 while a student at Indiana University;
active in Christian ministry since 1971; President, 1971 - 1973, then
Chaplain, 1973 - 1975 of a campus ministry at Indiana University; Director
of Campus Ministry for North Central Region of the U.S.A. and Canada, 1975 -
1976; director, dean, and teacher for a Bible College in Kaiserslautern,
Germany, 1977; Pastor of the same church since 1978; founder and director of
The Foundations Forum (Christian think tank), 1991 to present; District
Foreign Missionary Director, 1981-2000; District Superintendent beginning in
2000; Founding Coordinator of Friendship International, a ministry to
college and university students around the world, 1997 - 2001; Special
Advisor to Friendship International, 2001 to present; Secretary and member
of the Board of Trustees for a Graduate School of Theology, 1999 to present;
internationally known and requested Bible teacher, ministering by missionary
and other official invitations in more than forty nations, and at least
thirty-three of the United States; and other minor functions. Husband to the same
wonderful lady since 1970, father of three college graduates, and one
delightful Down Syndrome son born in 1994.
Experience For best results, send your question directly to readout@earthlink.net. Be sure to mention AllExperts.com in the subject.
See "Expertise" section.
Question We all know that God forbids homosexual acts but loves homosexual persons. If a homosexual couple in a faithful monogamous relationship later repent of their sexual behaviour but continue in their special bonding (like a couple), yet without involving in any sexual and physical intimate acts with each other anymore, is their relationship still consider a sin? Does the Bible forbid homosexual acts or even special relationship and bonding (non-sexual) between homosexual persons?
Answer Thank you for your question, Mary. I apologize for taking so long to reply. I need to advise AllExperts.com that I must be considered to be “on vacation” while my schedule is so busy.
There are two preliminary factors I hope you will accept: I do not use masculine pronouns in a gender specific manner unless the context demands it. Also, the Biblical word "sodomy" is also not gender based, even though it is more often associated with men than it is with women. I will use it in my answer as the word meaning "sexual relationship with a member of the same sex."
Since you acknowledge the prohibition against sodomy, I will forgo exegesis to establish it. I will also simply state my complete agreement that God loves the person while hating the sin, regardless of who the person is, or what the sin is. However, there is an apparent assumption in your question which must be addressed. I cannot find support in the Word of God for the idea of “homosexual persons” apart from those who practice sodomy in heart or deed. Beyond the fact that the Bible does not use a clinical term (homosexual) for those who engage in the sin of sodomy, it is obvious that there are two types of persons, unsaved sinners and saved sinners, and each type can come in one of two genders, male or female. This excludes the idea of sodomites being a different kind of person. It is not a third gender, or a different species of human being, and I cannot consider it a special class of person any more than I can consider liars a special class of person.
Accordingly, I must define a “homosexual person” as one who either practices sodomy, or entertains it in his/her thought life. Either is the equivalent of the other, except in the manner in which it involves and affects someone else. So, someone whose thoughts entertain sodomy is guilty of the sin, even without actually committing the deed. This is the principle expressed in these texts, among others:
Matthew 5:27-28 “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
Proverbs 23:6-7 “Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: 7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.”
These definitions force me to the conclusion that relationships between “homosexual persons,” even without the sexual acts, are sinful because of the thought life.
But there is more to consider in your question. I think defining “homosexual person” as one who has in time past committed the sin of sodomy, either in thought or deed, but have truly repented of the sin, and eliminated it from his/her life, and not just someone who has eliminated the practice of the sin, is an error. One is a sodomite if one commits the act in thought or deed. If one does not, one is not. The question changes, then, to, “Can former homosexual partners righteously have a special relationship (beyond friendship) with each other? To this I would answer in the affirmative, but with the strong cautionary note that it would require a genuine salvation deliverance for both of them.
The New Testament has many passages that describe the intensity of the relationship between Christians:
Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
1 Thessalonians 4:9 But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.
1 Peter 1:22 Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:
1 John 3:14-18 We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. 15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him. 16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? 18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
Understand that the love commanded in these, and other texts, is not an emotion or a feeling. It is an act of the will which is done even when the emotion is not present. The best simple definition of love (as a noun) I know is this: “Love is the willingness to sacrifice whatever is necessary to provide for the needs of the other.” Love (as a verb) is best defined as “Sacrificing whatever is necessary to provide for the needs of the other.” These definitions, of course, do not confuse desires with needs. They are based on the Biblical usage of the Greek word "agape." It is not to be confused with "phileo," brotherly affection, or "eros," sensual passion. It is above both, and comes from God.
If two sinners (sodomites, liars, or any others) come to Jesus Christ, and are genuinely freed from their sins (Romans 6), they will have a bond stronger than that possible outside of salvation. It will not involve unrighteous conduct or thought, but it will dictate their behavior toward each other, and it will often be accompanied by a stronger and more enduring emotion than was possible before.
Finally, I would offer these words of advice to any two people finding themselves in this situation: Remove unnecessary temptation. Live apart, and maintain your relationship within the limits of safety. I base this on the Lord's instruction to pray, "lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." If I am to pray that He not lead me into a situation where I can be tested, how much more ought I not voluntarily put myself in jeopardy? If I ask Him to deliver me from the evil that temptation makes possible, would I not be tempting god to move into it by my own decision?
I hope this helps you, and I am willing to discuss this further if you feel it would bring some benefit to you.
