Expert: Eric Christy - 4/16/2007

Question
God said that pre marital sex is a big sin. Are we going to be forgiven then if we ask for his forgiveness? And does this mean we will have a bad marriage?

Answer
Hi Alexander,

Yes, premarital sex is a sin. But so are all other sins. If you ask God to forgive your sin, no matter what it is, God is going to forgive you.

Now, we need to make sure that we understand that sin is detestable to God. He hates sin. Yet, He loves the sinner. But be sure that if you sin wilfully, and do not ask for God's forgiveness, that He will not forgive your sin, and you are damned.

We all sin. The difference between when a Christian sins and when a non-Christian sins is that the Christian can ask for God's forgiveness and he knows that God has forgiven him. The non-Christian typically doesn't even ask, and is by their unwillingness to accept Jesus as their savior, choosing to damn themselves to eternal hell.

So, even more important than asking forgiveness for our sins, is to ask to be saved by accepting Jesus Christ as one's savior. Then, as you grow in your love and knowledge of the Savior, you will desire to be more like Him and you will gradually become less interested in sinning, and more interested in godliness.

As for what your marriage will be like if you have premarital sex, I would cite the studies done by sociologists and psychologists who demonstrate that those couples who engaged in premarital sex have a harder time staying married than those who choose abstinence before marriage. The bible clearly states that we are to remain chaste until we marry. There are many reasons for this, not the least of which are health (STD) problems related to a promiscuous lifestyle. But another major problem would be unwanted pregnancies. And still another major problem would be the damage to your personality, your soul, when you engage in promiscuous behavior. The bible clearly states that you literally BOND yourself to another in the sexual act. The more you are promiscuous, the weaker you become when it comes time to be bonded to the one you marry.

God designed marriage to be a healthy, fun, sexually fulfulling relationship that brings joy to one's life, stability for the family (assuming you have children) and blessings from God by 'doing it' His way.

What are your thoughts?

Eric