Expert: Libby Bonner - 11/19/2008

Question
Hello, I am a 20 year old female living in Texas, and I just don't know what to do anymore. I had 2 (what I think to be) panic attacks almost two years ago, and I had another one just last month. When they occur, I keep gasping and gasping for air, but can't seem to catch my breath, I have trouble even trying to think of what to think of (I just can't think), and I cry hysterically. The first two occurred when I was living far away from anyone I knew and I was on the verge of being homeless...again. The most recent attack occurred when I was scrambling to finish a 12 page GROUP project for college without the help of my group...so I'm thinking that they're brought on by stress.

Now, as for my day-to-day life, I never want to get out of bed (which makes life difficult with a nine-month-old daughter), no matter how long I've been in bed. It's a daily struggle to get out of bed to feed my daughter, and almost every day, I just get back in bed after making her a bottle. I'm always so depressed, and it just seems that nothing and no one can keep me happy anymore. This has caused me to lose more than one job and has almost cost me my relationship with my daughter's father more than once. It just feels like no one understands what's going on in my head. I get so angry so quickly at the smallest things, and I just want to yell at anyone who's near. I avoid going out into public as much as possible, and I have had to drop two classes due to this - I just can't stand being around people a lot of the time. I feel like everyone's staring at me and scrutinizing everything about me. I can't think straight at all most of the time, and I absolutely detest public speaking. The group project I was telling you about earlier was also a presentation to the class. We were the last group to go, and the entire 3-hour class, I was sweating profusely, wringing my hands so much that they became sore, and I completely forgot everything I had prepared the moment it was my turn to speak. For the past few years, I just can't help but feel as if I'm different than everyone else, and no one gets how hard and debilitating it can be. In middle school, I was diagnosed as depressed, but I think I may have been misdiagnosed. I was wondering if you had any sort of idea as to what could be wrong. I also would be interested in what you think my options are (medications, alternative therapy/medicine, etc.).

Thank you so much just for reading this long email. I just don't even know where to start thinking about what to do...which is one of my problems, ha. Any insight or resources you could offer will be much appreciated.

Thanks,
Ashley

Answer
You need a good psychiatric work-up.  Can your college's student health dept refer you??

You will need meds, primarily.  Some other sorts of therapy/counseling can come after you are more stable.

You need to do this yesterday, not easy if you can't get out of bed, I know.  TELL YOUR HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND OR ANY FRIEND OR ANYONE WHO CAN HELP YOU GET IN GEAR, GET AN APPT, KEEP AN APPT, GET YOUR MEDS.  They may have to do most of this for you, but NOTE:  a female voice will have to make your appts and/or will have to purport to be you in many phone situations:  you are not a minor, and so no provider will speak to anyone but you -- or "you."  Privacy laws.

You really should just copy your note to me and hand it to your chosen helper.  Your secret can't be much of a secret by now, and I'm not quite sure why you delayed at least going to a doc at a time when you still had the ability to do it.

This will NOT go away until you start taking Rxs.  NO, ST JOHNS WART WON'T HELP.

Have you ever read the sci report [a true one] of what happens to infant monkeys who are fed but given no affection?  If you are terribly depressed, that may not even make a dent........but pls share this w/ anyone willing go help you.