Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 12/4/2008

Question
I have an 8 yr old I think maybe bipolar.She currently diagnosed as ADHD.She has major mood swings.When she gets angry she purposely gets towards the violent edge.But it is not with everyone she gets angry at.It is mainly just me and her step dad.And it can be at the drop of a hat.Kids that are bipolar, do they act that way with everyone, or can it be directed towards certain people?

Answer
Hi Julie:

It can be scary when our children get violent.  First I'll answer your question then have some follow-up.  Yes, it is perfectly normal for a child with bipolar disorder to act out with parents and not others.  What happens is the child's outbursts scare them, often (especially with younger ones like yours) the control is very hard to maintain.  Your daughter feels "safe" releasing the anger at home. She knows you will not let her get hurt.  It appears she is doing this on purpose, but the truth is, she has lost control.  I know it doesn't make much sense at first, but she acts out only with you because she trusts in your love and ability to control what she can't.

Now for the followup.  You said she has been diagnosed with ADHD.  This often is present with bipolar.  The thing is, the bipolar needs to be under control before a child is treated for ADHD.  This is because medication for ADHD can cause the bipolar to become worse-often increasing the violence.  Did you notice an increase in violence after the treatment was started?

I would suggest you set up an appointment for another evaluation. Between now and then, keep a daily log of her moods and outbursts.  This will help in the diagnosis.

It takes time, but with the proper treatment, you will get your loving little girl back.

                  Joyce A. Anthony