Expert: Libby Bonner - 12/27/2008

Question
Hi, I'm the 41 yo mother of 3 grown children. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. I've worked very hard over the past 10 years to get a grip on my life and even out my personality(s). I've done well. However, we controlled the temper fluctuations by simply not having them. I pretty much don't have a temper anymore. My 2nd daughter, 19, married a 19 year old with bipolar. Long nasty story short, they separated, she came home pregnant with our 2nd grandbaby. When the baby cries, she has an anxiety attack and goes off. I can't get angry, I just deal with the task at hand and go on. Now our daughter has moved out, and left the baby behind and my hubby and I are raising her. The immediate problem is that I have no feelings. About anything! I'm numb.I don't know how to feel about this. I know I should be angry. But I just have things to deal with. My family is noticing the problem, so I know it shows. Help! How do I learn to be effectively angry? Is it an appropriate feeling right now? I just don't know how to feel!

Answer
I'm sorry, but I know very little about DID.

I hope and assume that you worked w/ someone in evening things out and getting a grip.  Time to do that again?

Numb isn't good, though I have no idea if anger is appropriate here or not - some young-ish women might be delighted to have an extra baby. --- But your husband has some opinions about that, I'm sure.

I am wondering, too, if anything about your status has changed in recent years?  It might not be a bad idea to have a general psychiatric work-up and diagnosis....w/ meds and/or new talk therapy to address current problems.  Would suggest your husband accompany you to appts [even tho he will probably not be w/ you and the doc for all of every appt] ... and maybe get couples therapy re this unexpected baby.

Hope you can find a good DID person online, and I wish you well.