Expert: Libby Bonner - 12/15/2008

Question
My dad has abused me a lot as a person. He has given me a lot of emotional pain. I mean, sometimes I get these sort of thoughts like "I want to killl this guy whenever I look at his face." He is 70 years old. I wonder how can my mind come up with such a thought? 3 years ago, my mom was grappling with diabetic related problems, going through a lot of dialysis, bed soles and she was very very sick. She could not sit up. My mind used to come up with thoughts like "God please lessen her pain and give her death so that she could be in peace." Now when I look at these thoughts, they sound very repulsive and I wonder only mentally ill people can come up with such thoughts. I have read that such threaning behavior is linked with physcomotor agitaion? Can you please shed some light on this?

Answer
I have no idea whether these thoughts are related to psychomotor agitation.

Any normal adult abused person might well have your thought about your father, and a loving adult might well have that thought about your mother  - it sounds only as though you are grieved by her pain and your own helplessness.

I think these are questions for a psychiatrist or for a religious advisor.