Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 2/25/2008

Question
My husband of 25 yrs was diag w/bp1 schozo tend about 8 months ago.  He's on lots of meds (i know he'll stay on them-he loves meds) and seems to be getting better.  I'm now deaing with ptsd after his latest "incident" where I knew I had to deal w/things (suicidal threats, lying to police about me to stay away from hospital), it was pretty flipping bad.  So now I'm dealing w ptsd which he doesn't get (maybe bec. its not about him) & pressuring me to let him come home (there were dangerous issues in our past that I let go bec I knew they were bec of his insecurity & love him) He's had an apt since his parents would not allow him to stay there after the "incident" & advice from all was that it was not safe for me or my kids to have him home (kids are 20, 17 & 14).  He's an artist & always not handled stress well, but life comes w;/stress, & I'm tired of dealing with it.   He promises that whole thing won't happen again but I have to protect my family - what to do

Answer
Hello Hortense:

I believe you made the safe choice by moving out.  I can't tell you whether or not to return to your husband. Have you discussed the situation with your children and heard what they think?  My suggestion would be to decide whether or not you believe the relationship is worth saving.  If not, then hold your ground.  If you feel it is, I would suggest you insist on anger management for your husband and marriage counseling for the two of you--before you allow him back home.
                        Joyce A. Anthony