Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 6/3/2008

Question
Hi, I have never reached out to anyone like this before and thus it is a first.  I am currently 19 years old I am the middle of three children.  My mother was diagnosed with I was three and there is a three year difference between me and both of my sisters.  My father has been really strong and supportive.  Growing up with my mother she said a lot of things that were lies and as a result I never really knew what was going on I spent a lot of my time alone doing homework or anything else to keep my mind away from my home situation.  I recently tried dating and knowing that I grew up in a very strict and religious family I took my time.  But it did not take long to discover that I had no one to go to with dating advice as my parents recently underwent a divorce and due to the turmoil my mother has disowned me.

My question is this, as I grew up I was very isolated and now that I am in university I have suffered with the realization of how close mother's really are with their children which tends to make me break down and cry on a regular basis.  Am I normal?  and is there anywhere I can go to try and find someone who can give me a mother's advice on issues?  I know this sounds strange but having to teach myself everything has drained me a lot.  Sometimes I just desire a mother to talk to and I do not feel that I really have anyone to go to.  Can you please offer me some advice?

Aliya

Answer
Hello Aliya:

I can empathize with what you are feeling.  What you are feeling is perfectly normal.  

Do you have an aunt or grandmother you can go to?  If not, there is often people within your neighborhood that are looking for someone to "mother".  Another solution would be to start volunteering at someplace where there are elderly women--many love to fill the mother role.

I hope some of this helps.  

                                         Joyce A. Anthony