Expert: Libby Bonner - 7/23/2008

Question
My wife was diagnosed with cyclothymia several years ago, but I think she has progressed to bipolar.  We see a psychiatrist and psychologist regularly, but I don't feel that we're progressing as needed.  She suffers from other chronic illness (fibromialgia, CFIDS, chronic pain from work-related injuries) which led to her early retirement due to disability.  She spends almost all of her time either at Dr. appointments or watching QVC and HSN.  She's ordered so much that we're now bouncing checks and our credit cards are maxed out.  I can't get her to stop, but with the doctors' help we have slowed her some.  We live together in a rented house.  She's blown through all the cash reserves we had.  I don't want a divorce.  I love her and I want to help her, but I need to find a way to protect our future.  Do you have suggestions?

Answer
Seriously, can you get her name off credit cards?  I would also set up separate checking accounts, if you can,and take any other steps to separate her debts from yours.  -- Does she have income?  Disability?  SSDI, or what??  IF she were free to spend her own income on anything at all, would your own income cover all expenses for your household; would your income allow for expenses and savings??

I wonder what meds she is on?  Any for bipolar?  And - in what way have the doctors "helped" - w/ meds, or -- ?

Is spending is her only bipolar symptom?  And, what cyclothymic symptoms did/does she have??

It's likely that boredom plays a part here?  Does she have any social interactions at all?  Friends or family - a way, and the energy to get out of the house?  Does she participate in any real or online support groups???

Has she been an in- or out-patient in a pain clinic?  That might help modify her behavior, decrease her pain, and improve her, and your, life generally.

What type of physician/s made the fibromyalgia and CFIDS diagnoses??  Neurologist?  Rheumatolgist?  Any reason to want second opinions???

[Can you re-sell anything she has bought, to get some cash??]

An off-the-wall suggestion.  Can you block QVC and HSN???  Can you get a mid-size cable pkg that would exclude them?

I'm out of ideas, except that you might seek advice from a bank or an attorney.

Well, another idea.  She isn't the only one doing this. Why don't you google around some to see what other families have done?

Do, pls, keep your own well-being and future firmly in mind.