Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 7/10/2008

Question
I have just called a break with by boyfriend of three years who I believe is bi-polar.  I was hoping if you could read over some of these instances and tell me your thoughts on them.
He used to be violent over my past relationships.  This started with just random explosions of anger and breaking objects, and eventually turned on me.  
He convinced me to abandon my friends, as they were seen as a threat to our relationship.  He told me no one else should be able to fulfill anything for me if we truly loved each other.
He stopped me from seeing his family.
He stopped seeing my family.
He recently went into a rage, telling me that I was the last person in the world he should ever be with, that he hates me, I'm a whore, ect. all the insults you can imagine.  This used to happen about once a month, but thanks to time apart, it hadn't happened in a long time until then.  
He consistently acts like a totally different person with everyone else.
He wants to end the relationship because he claims I am "too emotional", although I never have episodes like he does, until I get so stressed and sad from not being able to talk to him that I just break down.
He considers it disrespectful if I don't have the same opinion as him on nearly everything, no matter how kindly I state them.
After his last explosion, I told him I was leaving, he said he didn't care and insulted me some more, threw a phone at me, and locked me out of our apartment. When he left, I packed my things and left.  He called five times that day, until 2:30 in the morning, and finally I picked up.  He asked me "Why did you leave?", claimed he didn't mean anything he said, and that he needed me.  He has called me about two of three times every day since then, being sweet.
He also nearly always treats me in an affecionate father to their favorite daughter type way, which I know is common in the cycle of abuse, because your love seems so pure and wonderful again.
He says there is nothing wrong with him, but that everything is my fault, even though when you expain the situations to counselors, friends, or anyone, they all give the same answer; "he has problems, and he's trying to control you." Does this sound like bi polar disorder?
Anything you could tell me would be very much appreciated. Thank you so much


Answer
Hi Joanna:

What you describe is not someone who is exhibiting symptoms of bipolar disorder.  This person is the classic controlling personality--and shows all the warning signs of possibly becoming physically abusive.  Already there are sign of emotional abuse.  My advice would be to stay as far away from him as possible.  

                 Joyce A. Anthony