Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 7/10/2008

Question
Firstly, I just want to thank you for spending time reading my story and helping!  In the town I live in there is not many people who specialize in bi-polar children as young as mine. My daughter is 10 years old. We have been to more dr's than you could imagine! Everyone of them seems to think the same thing, that she is indeed bi-polar. Currently, my daughter is prescribed Zoloft and Risperdal. We have tried many medications and these seem to be the best. If she misses one dose of her Zoloft the next day is just horrible! She has no respect for anyone including herself. There isn't anything I can take away from her that would bother her. When she is in one of her so called "moods" she is very destructful. She throws everything in sight, breaks things, and has more power than me at times! I am so scared as a mother if at the age of 10 she can be so uncontrollable how is it gonna be when she is 15. I have 3 other children in this house and I can send them to their room or ground them and not have a problem.  I know by all means I'm not the perfect mother but I have to believe this must be her disorder because there are limitations set in this house and a schedule that we are very good sticking to. I am to the point where I am a firm believer in dealing with your own kids but at the same time she can push me to my limit and I find myself looking up military schools. Please tell me if you know of anything I can do or should do to get a hold of this child! Her real dad has abandoned her about 4 years ago after I got remarried and I know this could be some of it, but on the other hand she has a stepfather who loves her unconditionally! Since the day she was born I feel like she has been a miserable child. Is this normal? I feel like I could just go on and on, but I'm sure this will give you an idea.  Thanks again for your time!

Stephanie

Answer
Hello Stephanie:

It does indeed sound like your daughter is the typical bipolar child.  Your reactions are perfectly normal.  Living with a bipolar child on a daily basis is very difficult, especially when you have other children to deal with.

A couple of suggestions for you.  Have you looked into getting her a counselor (usually called TSS or wrap-around services).  This person would come into your home and give her one on one counseling and teach her more productive ways of dealing with her moods and behavior.

You might also look into either a respite care program--where she would spend a night or two each week away from home to give everyone, including her, a break, or a residential treatment facility.  This last is usually a final attempt.  

A residential treatment program would be preferable over military school.  There, she would be watched at all times and her medication could be adjusted to her needs.  She would also receive schooling and counseling.

The doctor prescribing her medication should be able to direct you to appropriate programs in your area.  Lastly, try to find out if their is a parent support group you could get to.  Having the support and understanding of other parents in the same situation is often the best thing in the world to help get through the "bad" days.

                            Joyce A. Anthony