Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 8/5/2008

Question
Please help because I am out of answers.  My 13 year old step-daughter is bipolar and is hypersexual to the max!  It is beyond words.  If she isn't trying to dress provocatively, then she is on the phone talking inappropriately to a boy or flirting with her brothers and sisters male friends.

I dont know where to go about this.  She is on Prozac and Depakote.  No matter where she goes, she ends up getting a bad name because of her over interest in the opposite sex.  She has very few female friends and I think it is because they don't like her behavior.

She has to be "babysitted" all the time because of this behavior.  You can not leave her alone because of what she may do.  Teachers that have her in class keep warning her father and I that she is going to end up being a pregnant teenager if we do not get her major help.  We have done counseling, we have done grounding, etc. to no avail.

Please help us!  What are we do about this?  I am beginning to feel total apathy towards her because this has worn me down.

Thanks-- Kari

Answer
Hello, Kari:

First, here is a wonderful article on the subject of hyper-sexuality in young bipolar children: http://www.bipolarchild.com/Newsletters/0206.html

This is one of the most difficult symptoms of bipolar disorder to deal with in children.  The first thing you will definitely need to do is get your daughter on some type of birth control if your religion allows it.  It is necessary to keep her safe in that aspect until the hyper-sexuality gets under control.

Next, discuss this with her psychiatrist and see if there is any medication that may help.  I personally do not know of any, but there may be recent discoveries I am not aware of.

Sit with your daughter and go into as great of detail as possible about what can happen with sexual behavior such as hers--not only the physical things such as STD and pregnancy, but also the stigma. With these children, you need to be downright blunt.  Do not be afraid to lay it all out there in front of her.  

If you live in a larger town that has a "red light district" take her there, have one or two of the "ladies" talk to her about what can happen--the beatings, the unwanted advances, etc... I guarantee you they will work with you on trying to help her see how dangerous her behavior is.  

Visit a "clinic" and have the staff talk to her about STDs.  Allow them to share as much detail as they can.  As a last resort, have her talk with an AIDs patient.  

All this may sound harsh.  We strive to protect our children from these things.  The truth is, however, these children often need to face the harshest realities before it "sinks in".  Continue the constant supervision as much as possible until some of the other methods start to work.
                         Joyce A. Anthony