Expert: Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist - 9/12/2008

Question
I hope I can keep this short.  My husband has recently been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.  He has had a long history of trying to find greener pastures, but noone has known that he is seriously mentally ill (I think).  I have oh, so many questions, but the pressing one is this.

He has recently decided that we are not and have never really been a family.  I have teenager girls that aren't his (and aren't always nice!)...but he can't deal with it.  He also has a head injury of some sort which comes with memory loss (I think)...I took a job in another town and we have been planning to make a move to the city.  We were just not making it where we were.  I came home with the moving truck and his stuff was all separated from ours.  We have a son together, though, and have been a family for 6 years.  We brought him to Seattle and took him to the hospital, he seemed to his counselor, to be having a severe manic episode.  He was already on seizure medication (which should have been helping the depression) and they put him on Depakote about 3 weeks ago.  Since then, he has waffled about whether we are a family.  He'll talk of the future, we'll sleep together...then he remembers all sorts of bad things both made up and not...and decides that he is leaving again.

NOW, he has taken up a relationship with this woman where we use to live.  He's just sure that she is the one for him, I think...the honeymoon phase right?  I am public enemy number one because I got angry that he was with this woman.  What do I do now?

You waffle between, let them go and they are very ill...they will realize when their meds are straight.  We keep trying to get him into a hospital to get his meds straight.  He goes back to where we came from and has manic episodes everytime.  I have told him he can't stay at home with the kids because he is so unstable, so of course, that means that I have abandoned him.

PLEASE....give me some insight?  Should I keep trying, or should I let him go.

Answer
Dear Jennifer,

I can quite understand how difficult it is to live with a mentally ill person. Because of his bipolar condition he will find it difficult to find happiness, and therefore he believes that the grass is greener around the corner. He most probably will blame you for the cause of his unhappiness, but remember he has no control over his moods. He may find it difficult to recognize that his problems are from within. Wherever he goes he won't find happiness until he is treated for his illness. He will take his illness along with him wherever he goes.

The best advice I can give you to get an understanding of his illness. As a nutritional psychologist I know that Bipolar Illness can be improved with a combination of drugs AND nutritional therapy. But your husband MUST be interested in helping himself. Without his motivation not much can be achieved.  Most Bipolar patients benefit from going on a hypoglycemic diet, which seems to stabilize their moods somewhat. Please also search our web site for LECITHIN, which may help dampen down the manic phase in Bipolar disorder. But lecithin should not be used in the depressive phase of his illness.

I suggest that you read:

Self Help Personal Growth Program at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/self-help_personal_growth.html

which contain  many articles that explain the connection between nutrition and mental illness. I strongly suggest that he be referred to a Nutritional Doctor, Clinical Nutritionist or Nutritional Psychologist as well as his psychiatrist.

_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman
Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Skype: jurplesman