Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 1/2/2009

Question
my daughter-in law is 27yrs odl and has a 5 month old daughter. she has been to the doctor and he has said she is suffering from postnatal depression and given her tablets..lithium i think. i have noticed her mood swings from real highs to lows the highs can be manic and worrying as an outsider..i have noticed she has not bonded well with her child..refusing photos to be taken of them together, excusing she is fat. when i have explained baby does not mind this its about memories for her...she blocks me out...she has mentioned bipolar disorder " and i wondered if that was her way of telling me she has the illness...although she was quick to change the subject saying,,therapy is unhelpful..all it gives you is a label..then that tells you ahh thats how i must act then ,,her words not mine.
am i right to be concerened as i worry for my granddaughter who is so small, i have offered my help, but am met with a stand offish reply often accompanied with a badness from the mother..its as if she hates me..and i have done nothing.
will await your thoughts. thank you.

Answer
Hi Joanne:

I can understand your concern but you haven't mentioned an behavior on your daughter-in-law's part that shows she might harm the bay.  Many women suffer from post-partum depression, and the fact that she went for help and medication shows she is aware of her mood and willing to get help.

I would just watch from the sidelines for now and keep an eye on the baby's health-watching that she is developing on schedule, interacting with people, etc...Indicate you are there if needed, but don't push it. Give her time to get used to being a mother.

                         Joyce A. Anthony