Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 1/6/2009

Question
Hi
To cut it short. My wife is 40 years old ( 2 children)
My wife dad when she was 7
When my wife was 12 or 14 years old her neibour got her and her girlfriend drunk and raped both of then. She did not tell anybody about it not even her parents.
Every time she seen the neibour he would advise how great it was 2 have 2 virgins.
She run into this neighbor in 2004 or 2005 Xmas
And was very distressed. I tried to get her to go to the police she would not.
May 2006 wife went off the pill to have another child.
sep/Oct 2006 My wife had to take her stepdad to the eye doctor 15 minutes drive. her step dad was a taxi driver and she had to lose 2 days work to take him so I suggested for him to take a taxi as a suggestion.
I was then banned from her parents house. My wife parents started hassling my wife abut what I said.
My wife started drinking yelling at me and the kids and saying their will be consequences and " i had no respect for her parents"
End of October 2006 my wife put up a webpage on adultfriendfinder.com and started having sex with men she meet thought this site.
I did not start to find out until after June 2007 what had been happening but in all that time my wife would come home yell at me, yell at the kids then go into the office on the computer. I tried to fix things with her parents but they just swore at me.
We separated in the same house and when my wife parents went over seas in July 2007 I was able to get me and my wife to go to a relationship psychologist. Things then came out like when my wife finished high school and university it was not a big thing with her parents.
My wife parents have always caused trouble in our relationship.
Nov 07 my wife parents came back and she started yelling drinking again.
May 2008 I was getting ready to go to court. when she wanted to give it another go. My wife promised she had not contacted any guys since June 07 and she said she would seek help.

I found out my wife contacted guys to May 2008  recently.
And my wife did not seek help for her conditions. She did go to a therapist but did not tell this therapist anything that had happened.

Sometimes when my wife becomes angry her voice changes ( deeper) and says things that does not make since.

I am wondering if she does have some sort of disorder.

I think now I will seeing the solicitor in the next week to end our relationship. But it still baffles me if this is normal behavior. My wife still thinks that I was so rude for her taxi driving stepdad to take a taxi to the eye doctor back in 2006.

She also done all this unsafe sex while off the pill and she never admitted to anything until I found the evidence.

Can you offer any ideas.  

Answer
Chew:

Your wife is not exhibiting "normal" behavior.  It is clear she has psychological issues that should be addressed by a psychologist or psychiatrist. I am not qualified to give a diagnosis, especially without a thorough evaluation, but I would venture to say she may be suffering from sexual addiction, post-traumatic stress disorder or some other personality disorder.  I would suggest you try to get her to seek help.

                       Joyce A. Anthony