Expert: Libby Bonner - 2/28/2009

Question
Hi,

I have been in a relationship with a man who suffers from  rapid cycling bipolar for the last 10 months but I am also in a relationship with somebody who I have been with for 18 years, I am currently trapped in this relationship and have no hope of escaping for a few months.  

I desperately want to be with the man who unfortunately has bipolar.  He said he would wait until I was free and I know that he loves me deeply and wants to be with me.  

However a couple of weeks ago he said that he was going to Egypt to marry a woman in return for money so that she could gain access to the UK.  I do not believe the part about the money, he then told me that he was running away from me because he couldn't handle waiting for me any more and he hasn't contacted me, then one day when he was in the grip of a manic attack he phoned me and said he wanted to come back home quickly and again said that he had run away from me but wanted to be with me.  The following day I never heard from him and I emailed him and he told me to leave him alone.  

I honestly believe that he does not know what he is doing, I do not know whether he has married this woman or not but I do know that he is out in Egypt with her, he is due home in 6 weeks time.  

Is it possible that his mania has caused this idiotic and reckless behaviour.  I am so confused about the whole situation as none of it makes any sense whatsoever.

Answer
His mania has caused this behavior and his bipolar disorder likely will cause you heartaches that you would not even begin to believe.

I, personally, would run as fast as I could from this relationship and not email nor see him ever again.

You might decide differently.

Keep your email to me, and keep noticing "idiotic and reckless behavior"  and being "so confused [because] none of it makes any sense whatsoever."  

Most of "it" will only ever make sense to him.  That is the nature of unmedicated [I assume] mental illness, but medicated is no picnic either.