Expert: Joanne Chang - 2/26/2009

Question
I have an employee who has been diagnosed as bipolar. She has only been with my company for a few months and I am having a struggle dealing with her mood swings. I am not sure how much of her behavior can be attributed to the disorder and how much is manipulation. She is passive-aggressive and VERY emotionally needy- wants to be friends, not co-workers. I am very sensitive to her situation and allow her ample opportunity to discuss her issues, but she does so to the point of being non-productive. Constantly needs praise and coddling and behaves like a child at any whim. Will be non-communicative over any slight, real or imagined. What can I do? I don't want to dismiss her, although she is still in a probationary stage. She can be a good employee and I am an advocate for the mentally ill so I can't, in good conscience,get rid her. Help!

Answer
Dear Mary,

Your approach in addressing your current challenges with your employee is admirable.  It is clear that you are trying to be a good employer in doing what's right by both your employee and your company.

In your e-mail, you share that the employee has received the diagnosis of bipolar disorder.  Is she then currently also receiving treatment?  Is the diagnosis recent?  The reason I ask is that the initial period following diagnosis might be quite tumultuous but more often than not, individuals with bipolar disorder do get better (if not much better) at managing their mood fluctuations / symptoms / relationship boundaries with the appropriate treatment (medication, therapy, etc.).

You asked what you can do.  Let's look at the various possibilities.
You mention that you are not keen to dismiss her as you can see her potential to be a good employee.  However, you are having a struggle dealing with her mood swings.
Have you communicated this to her?

Sometimes it might seem harsh to impose, but individuals with bipolar disorder do benefit largely from clear boundaries.
You might consider clearly outlining the limits of what is acceptable behavior from your perspective. (Be specific and firm.)
This could relate to work-specific aspects (number of sick days allowable, punctuality, etc.) as well as to interpersonal aspects (limits of a working relationship, communication, after-hours calls, etc.).

A friend of mine was in a similar situation a number of years back.
A turning point came when she began receiving after-hours calls on an increasingly frequent basis as a result of her employee seeing the working relationship as her main source of support.
My friend was on the verge of dismissing her employee on account of her behavior interfering with work productivity, yet she hoped to salvage the situation as she genuinely cared for her employee's well-being.
My suggestion was to draw clear boundaries and suggest to her employee other sources of support, especially in times of crises, such as family, personal friends, helplines (e.g. the Samaritans), and mental health professionals.
As a result, her employee was able to get the support she needed (outside of work) and maintain her job.
However, having said that, had her employee not turned the corner, my friend had done all that she could to assist the situation and she would have in good conscience suggested that her employee reconsider her suitability for that work position (which was rather stressful).

I do hope you'll be able to work things out with your employee.
Do write back if you have further queries.

All the best!
Joanne