Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 7/6/2009

Question
Is it bipolar?  My daughter, who is 20, has been displaying irrational behavior and outbursts for a year now. She becomes verbally abusive initially, with physical aggression occurring within 15 minutes. I do know that she was experimenting with drugs some time ago, but she had stopped within the past few months and she was happier, picking a nicer set of friends, etc. Lately, she is prone to long periods of sleep and unable to keep a job, due to the inability to function properly early enough to be on time.  Her aggression is only towards me, not her father or brother, ever. Last night, she indicated she might have strep throat and being Sunday with no Dr.'s open, we should have her seen in the E/R because her symptoms usually progress rapidly.  She flipped out and said "Why would you do that" "Are you stupid" and I said "What did I say wrong, I want to help you if you are sick" - then came the on-slaught, the ugly words, throwing the water from a water bottle at me, pushing me towards the stairs and then locking herself in the bathroom, which is when she climbed out the window and hung from the back of the house causing me to call the police for assistance. She ran before they arrived, but did eventually speak to one of the officers and came back. This is not who she is, she said if she seeks help it means she's crazy and I fear that all the love and support we give her is not enough and we will lose her.

Answer
Lori:

I really can't tell from this whether or not it is bipolar disorder that you are dealing with or not.  I am more likely to think it is something else simply because all the anger is directed at one person and not everyone.  It seems that either your daughter feels "safe" releasing anger toward you--which means she knows you will not turn away from her--or she has unspoken issues.


Whatever the reason, she really does need to see someone before she ends up hurting herself or someone else.  Getting away from drugs is difficult and she needs support from someone who has gone through it.  In addition, there is normally an underlying disorder that causes a person to turn to drugs in the first place.

Explain to your daughter that seeing someone does not make a person crazy--it only means there is a current need for additional help--something that everyone needs at one point or another in their life.  If necessary, you can have her admitted to the hospital temporarily should she be in any danger to herself.  Also, do not allow her to "get away" with physical violence toward you--set guidelines!  You need to be safe in order to keep her safe.