Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 8/25/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi there,

I have been googling all over the internet tonight trying to find some answers for my daughter and our family. I don't know where to begin...I am pretty sure her bio-father was bipolar (just from my experiences with him) he'd never admit it or go for testing, and his mom might have been too, not sure. But I've been worried since she was born that she'd have anger problems like my ex, and they are really surfacing now. She's so soft and sweet, and generous one minuet and so extremely mad, violent and rageful the next over something very trivial and small. we have no idea how to calm her down enough to even hear us and comprehend what we're saying to her. We need some advice and suggestions....I'm at my limit with stress and patience, and I hate that I feel that way with her. IF there are some natural supplements she could take, that would be ok (possibly) but I'm not ready for medication.. I want to even know if this is what I'm dealing with and if there are things I haven't tried yet that would work from the perspective of someone who knows it well.  thank you for your time.

Tiffany.

ANSWER: Hi Tiffany:

Not knowing what is making your child hurt emotionally can be very frustrating.  I understand your unwillingness to try medication at this young age--and I would not even suggest it until you do know what exactly your daughter is going through.  Her age, however, makes any available herbal mood medications very dangerous.  Those on the market are formulated with adults in mind.

What I would suggest is to have your daughter evaluated by a psychologist who works with children.  It is very possible that some type of play, art or music therapy might help.  It would also give you the chance to know what you are dealing with and make it possible to learn methods of dealing with the outbursts that work with your daughter.  Each child is different and it is hard to know what will work with each one unless you are with them every day.

If this is bipolar disorder you are dealing with, medication will definitely be necessary somewhere down the road.  This is because bipolar episodes worsen with each cycle. This is especially true in those who experience early-onset bipolar.  Medication, however, is an issue best saved until you know for sure what the problem is.  Only then will you be able to make a better decision of what medication will be the best.

         Joyce A. Anthony

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thank you for your advice and warning. can you recommend someone in my area? I'm very nervous about trusting someone with this, there are so many out there who tend to "run" with something before really knowing the person, or circumstances well enough.. etc..I don't want her to be treated like she's "broken" or "messed up" etc.. this is a very sensative time in her life and don't want to cause permanent negative memories for her. I'm in portland, Oregon. thank you for your help.

Answer
I understand your concerns, Tiffany.  The best thing for you to keep in mind is that this is YOUR child--if you do not feel comfortable with any suggested treatments, it is perfectly within your rights to say so and refuse.  You are your daughter's best advocate.  An initial evaluation will merely give you a starting point--and access to a variety of options.  I can't tell you who in your area is the best in this matter, but a nationally trusted place is:

Trillium Family Services

(866# 621-7415

Address: 3415 SE Powell Blvd, Portland, OR 97202

This will at least give you a starting place and access to several psychologists.  When you make an appointment, arrive a it early and talk with the parents of other kids.  Find out what they have to say and observe their kids to see if they appear over-medicated #drowsy, etc...)The best indicator of how well a place is can be found from parents in similar situations.

         Joyce A. Anthony