Expert: Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist - 1/19/2010

Question
Hello i am a 19 year old girl,my mum has suffered badly from bipolar disorder and depression for as long as i can remember and i simply cannot cope with the way she treats me anymore,i feel broken inside because of all the abuse i have suffered from her,mental as well as physical my whole life.I have spent my whole life trying to help her and shes still treats me like dirt whenever she feels bad.I love her unconditionally.I feel so trapped,no matter how terrible she treats me i simply cant walk away.I suffer from very bad O.C.D but get absolutely no support from her,i often feel that she uses her illness as an excuse to treat me bad.My sister committed suicide a few years ago,she was 17.I think she enjoys the fact that i need her,i think its because i have been rejected my whole life and i cant cope without her.She basically has no one,she has drove everyone away over the years,I'm the only person who has always been there for her,no matter what,yet she seems to think the least of me.Its devastating.I would just like to say that although it may be hard to believe she can be the most wonderful,loving person at times,that is why i will never give up on her,like everyone else has done,but i just cant cope anymore.I feel suicidal at times,although i would never put my family through that again.I cant kill myself to be free,yet i cant turn my back on her.Please help.

Answer
Hi Eloise,

This is dreadful situation to be in. But Bipolar or not, there are certain limitations and boundaries in any relationship. I feel you need to be more assertive and for this I recommend that you study:

Summary of Self-help Pyschotherapy at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/self-help_personal_growth.html#PSYCHOTHE...

in its entirety from beginning to end. It includes a program showing you how to overcome a negative self-image, and assertiveness training program, communication course and values clarification course. Most people can learn these skills by reading these articles over and over again. This program is also available in my book "Getting off the Hook" which is freely available on the internet at Google Book Search.

The assertiveness training program should be of great help to you.

I hope I have been of some help.

_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist
Hon. Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Skype: jurplesman