Expert: Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist - 1/22/2010

Question
My current now ex boyfriend broke up with me 25 days ago saying he doesn't feel
the same for me anymore and its been bothering him. We were together for 7
months and for 6 months we were so in love and things couldn't be better in our
lives...we were like the perfect couple..he had wanted me to move in. The one
night, 26 days ago, he was telling me that he loved me but he felt differently,
and that somedays he's so in love with me and can't picture his life without me
and somedays he just wants to be by himself...and he doesn't want to break up
with me though....then the next day he sends me a text in the morning saying
good morning, have a great day and then he calls me like 3 hrs later and says he
thinks we should just go our separate ways....i was so completely
heartbroken,,,,we shared so much, he was my best friend. I'm so devastated and
hurt. He was diagnosed when he was 9yrs old, in therapy and taking meds for a
while, but then a few years ago stopped all of it....he said he could control it
himself and knows how to handle things when he feels like he's getting into one
of his moods...i love him so much and I'm so sad...it was so real for me, but i
keep questioning,,,did he even love me or did he just think he did?,,,i'm so
hurt, upset, and confused. Is he just going through something right now and i
keep wondering if i should wait around cause maybe he'll change his mind. I just
don't' know what to think or what to do. I tried contacting him the weekend
after he broke up with me, but he didn't pick up his phone, and wouldn't text
message me back.
I texted him the other day and wished him good luck with his new position at
work, which he appreciated and responded back. So i asked if i could see the
cats and this is how the convo went----

me: Hey u, just remembered to say GOOD LUCK with your new position this week at
work.I hope you are doing better and i hope you passed your exam on Saturday.

him: Thank u , I'm taking the exam on sat, enjoy your day.

him: That was nice of u to remember

me: Ur welcome... have a swell day!   :)

me: Also, please let me see the kitties soon. I miss them so much.

him: You have to give me some time , I will think about it maybe this week after
work sometime



I'm probably going by his place to visit my cats soon..since we did adopt 2 cats
together back in October. He's been so cold to me and he said if he see's me
anytime soon that he might start feeling all these emotions again. What the heck
is he talking about?? If you don't feel the same for me anymore, why would it
bother you to let me visit with the cats..??..i don't understand...he did tell
me that he's seeing a therapist again and maybe going back on some medicine.
What do i do when i see him? I'm still so hurt! How do i react when i go there?
Does he still harbor feeling for me or not?..I just don't understand how you can
be so in love with me one minute and then just tell me the opposite the next
day.  

Oh, and now i found out he had signed up for match.com....uhhhgg..
do i just wait for him to contact me?


Answer
Dear Cher,

You have to understand that a Bipolar Person or a person suffering from endogenous depression is not in control of his feelings and can not understand himself. He naturally tends and will continue to believe that his unhappiness is due to this relationship, whereas in fact it may be simply due to his illness. He is suffering from  physical disorder that that plays havoc with his hormones and neurotransmitters. A person like that may have problems committing himself to a permanent relationship. Unless he is properly treated he is not likely to make a good husband or father. I suggest that you carefully consider our own interest and that a separation may be in the best interest of yourself.

As to treatment the usual approach is a combination of drug therapy and talk therapy. As a psychonutritional therapist I believe that that much of his illness can be teated in the hands of a good nutritional doctor. Most Bipolar people benefit from going on a hypoglycemic  diet (see our web site) and I strongly suggest that if you want to continue the relationship, that you familiarise yourself the nutritional aspects of mood disorders.

This can be done by reading articles on this topic especially at:

Alternative Treatments for Bipolar Disorder at:
http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/articles/default.htm#B   

Also read:

Nutritional Aspects of Schizophrenia at:
http://curezone.com/upload/Newsletter/Hypoglycemic_He/HYPONL2001_06.pdf
and go to page 7 of Newsletter.
much of this applies equally to Bipolar Disorder

Also search our web site for Bipolar Disorder.

Whatever action you decide to take I strongly suggest that you discuss this with his supervising psychiatrist, or maybe ask for a referral to a Nutritional Doctor as well as a back-up.

_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist
Hon. Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Skype: jurplesman