Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 6/3/2010

Question
are there any books or resources that can help me be a more effective parent at taking care of my son and keeping myself healthy too.  We have problems cycling at the same time often and feeding off of each others moods it seems.

Answer
Vicki, I apologize for the delay in answering your question.  I was trying to find a book specifically for bipolar parents of bipolar children--but it appears there are none.  All is not lost, however.

Read The Bipolar Child.  This book is one of the best in regards to parenting a bipolar child.  From it, you will learn the strategies necessary for you yourself to work at acquiring to better parent.  

The "emotional feeding" you experience is very common in such situations.  As the adult, it will be necessary for you to control your feelings and break the feeding cycle.  Try to remain calm on the outside even when you are in turmoil inside.  Find at least one person you can turn to for support when you need a break.  It is ideal if you can have someone you can call and say "I really need a break" and they can watch your son for you.

You did not mention your son's age.  If he is old enough to know when he needs a safe time out, make it a deal that you two will work together--each allowing the other that break when necessary.  Sometimes even ten minutes in a closed room helps.

Parenting a bipolar child is difficult in the best of circumstances.  Being bipolar yourself makes it more difficult, but it also gives you the advantage of understanding what it feels like inside your child's mind.  Knowing that you truly do understand what is going on will help you both work toward finding stability.

Allow yourself to be a model of being a person success and you will not only feel yourself become stronger, but will also strengthen your son.

                                     Joyce A. Anthony