Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 6/30/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi,
I'm eighteen and have just been diagnosed with Bipolar II, after having to drop out off university due to depression. Now, well, I'm apparently "over" the depression and they have decreased my medication (Venlaflaxin) from 150mg to 75mg, which I am ok with as well as increasing my mood stabilizer (Sodium Valproate) to 1000mg from 500mg. I was just wondering if I will forever be on this sort of yo-yo medication increasing and decreasing or does it in fact stop at some point. Moreover, will I be taken off medication altogether at some point? Obviously I don't expect a professional opinion, just what you know from experience about taking medicine. Basically, whilst I do feel I've got this quite under control, at the same time, when the only Bi polar friend refuses to take medicine and just went through a manic break (moving her from Bi Polar II to I!). If you have any advice on where I can go just to talk about this stuff and talk to people like me, I would be grateful.
Thanks
Charlotte

ANSWER: Hi Charlotte:

Getting a diagnosis can be very confusing and often scary.  The best place to start your search for a support group, as well as get sound advice, is

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=home%26cvridirect=true

To answer your medication questions: There is often a period of adjusting where medication is concerned.  Every person responds differently and you and the doctor need to figure out the correct type and dosage for you.  However, once the correct combination and dose is reached, you can continue from there with no changes.  Bipolar disorder is never cured, only controlled.  No matter how well you feel, it is necessary to continue on medication.  When untreated, each episode becomes stronger and lasts longer.  Maintaining your medication will help prevent that.

         Joyce A. Anthony

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello again, this is just a follow up question I forgot to ask:

Thank you for replying so promptly, the website link you sent me has been very helpful. I also wanted to ask, obviously it is a little out of the ordinary to have a "disorder" or "illness" or "condition" (whatever you want to call it urgh!). What scares me, however, is how to tell people about it, some people I can feel won't be intimidated immediately so I can mention it to them and it is no problem. Others, however, I feel I'm hiding something from them as we get closer but I feel telling them will make them uncomfortable. Finally, the big one is telling someone who I want to be in a relationship with about it. So far I have had a mixture of lucky and unlucky: One guy just said that he thought I was too off the wall to be with (this was a week before I was diagnosed), another was scared off for the same reason, he knew about the Bi polar but is just not up for girls like me. One guy was brilliant and not intimidated at all, but he moved away. I tried to not tell them about it but that was harder: I started seeing this guy and we were having fun, but I couldn't sleep with him until I had told him, whilst he wasn't phased, once again, I just don't feel confident in the relationship. Similarly, a guy who I met and have now agreed to meet up with again after the summer holidays doesn't know and I'm not sure if I should tell him. Moreover, it becomes hard to not lean on people when you are in sexual relationships with them because you already expose so much of yourself to them.

On a similar note, I have a lot of hypersexuality problems: I seduce men, go home with them and then dont sleep with them. I go through moments where I dont want to go home so I just go home with someone else. I go out and I have to have sex with someone, or at least seduce them. I've been told this is common but what the hell do I do to control it?

Thankyou AGAIN
Char

Answer
Char:

It seems you really aren't seeking a relationship now, but someone to provide comfort.  It might be best to take some time away from men until you become comfortable with your diagnosis.  If you can't be comfortable with it, it is hard for other people to be comfortable.  It is not necessary to tell anyone about your diagnosis unless you feel comfortable doing so.  When you are truly ready for a relationship with someone, you will instinctively know how to tell him and when it is the right time.  Take your confusion as a sign that you are not ready for that particular relationship at this point in time.

As to the hyper-sexuality, yes, that is a normal feeling.  The only way to get past it is to make up your mind, know your own values and what you want, and stick with that knowledge.  Being bipolar does not make you do things.  Yes, it can make you feel like you want to, but you are the one who has to decide whether or not you will.  YOU are in charge of your behavior.  If your willpower is not strong enough to avoid situations you end up feeling bad about, try either not going out or only going out with a friend that you trust.  The power is within you and you make the choices.  Part of being an adult is knowing you can't act on everything you think.  

         Joyce A. Anthony