Bipolar Disorder/Bipolar spouse

Advertisement

Expert: - 8/28/2010


Question
I have a question. My husband has bipolar and has been diagnosed for 4years now. He was very compliant with his meds for a couple of years until he felt so great from taking the meds that he bagan to believe he doesnt need them since then I have been the victim of the silent treatment, lack of communication, irritability, anger, uncaring behavior and just have a sense that my spouse just doesnt care. However, around other people he can turn it off and then turn it back on when he is around me. So my question is. How is it that if this is an uncontrollable disease when unmedicated how is it that he can control it when around others and will give me the cold shoulder quick but will not do that to the ones who treat him bad?

Answer
People who have bipolar often decide they don't need to stay on their medications after they've had a fairly lengthy period during which their symptoms have disappeared or become so minimal that they don't think there's a problem anymore.  The fact is that without the meds, the symptoms will return and may even become worse than ever before. He may not be as conscious of what he's doing around you, but when around other people he knows that he's got to be "on his best behavior" if he wants to be perceived as "normal". I'd recommend having a talk with him just to make sure he knows how you feel, and see if that can also open up a discussion over what he's been like lately.  You will want him to understand that it's a bad idea to go off his meds, and if need be, get his doctor involved.

Bipolar Disorder

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts

Volunteer

Jennifer

Expertise

I am available to answer questions of a general nature about bipolar disorder, provide online resources that address bipolar disorder in a more in-depth manner and sources to serve as a starting point for those looking for substantial information on the illness from a healthcare professional approach. I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist, my background is based in personal experience and extensive reading in my own process of understanding my diagnosis. I can also take questions that deal with the social issues surrounding bipolar disorder such as relationships; coping for family, friends, and the patient; marriage, choosing to start a family and related. Answers to questions of a legal nature will provide general information but anyone with a serious legal problem should consult an attorney licensed to practice in their jurisdiction.

Experience

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type II in 2000; as a SSI beneficiary, have experience and knowledge of the limitations and processes involved with the program; I understand the moods, the feelings, the worries, the doubts, and a lot more that there's not enough room to express - from the personal experiences of being bipolar. I have first-hand experience with the challenges of returning to college following hospitalizations and various combinations of medications that were tried before my doctor and I finally arrived at the most effective medication program for my treatment. My family and I have learned so much about each other in the process of dealing with the highs and lows that followed my diagnosis. I've had relationships with someone who also is bipolar and someone that is not - romantic relationships are no easier on either side! I feel that many of the ideas and beliefs that people have regarding bipolar disorder and those who have the condition promote the continuation of social stigmas associated with mental illness in general, and after learning from others with bipolar disorder, hope to guide others who may be trying to navigate the government health care system,& share information on other possible means of obtaining assistance with the cost of medications and/or mental health services and limited financial assistance programs for meeting basic living expenses for qualified individuals, dealing with problems from or with family & loved ones, co-occurring substance abuse problems, medications and side-effects (and when it feels like nothing will work, or why it's not helping the situation to ask whether or not a patient has taken their 'meds' when they seem hostile or moody to those around them).

Education/Credentials
I have a B.A. in Liberal Arts and will earn my J.D. upon completion of the Spring 2011 term after which I will be preparing to take the multi-state bar exam.

©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.