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Bipolar Disorder/Adult Bipolar Daughter

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Expert: - 1/17/2011


Question
Hi Jennifer, I wrote to you on 1/10/2011 and you provided some good insight to me. My daughter is 24. She currently stays with us but it is stressful beyond belief. She stole from us, papa, and her ex and still has court dates to attend for 5 felonies.(to provide for her gambling addiction) Most likely I have been told she may not get jail time but parole and counseling. She also has a court date for a domestic violence against her ex.
My daughter has a job but no car. Her job is  being a poker dealer at a place about 50 miles away. she really has no skills otherwise. We have been letting her use our car but can't and won't do that anymore.
We served her with eviction papers on December 1, 2010 to be out by January 15th,2011. No family or friend is willing to let her stay with them. He is on medicaid and has a bridge card for food. she wants us to let her stay until her taxes arrives so she has money to use for a car/apartment or modular home. If her taxes don't get garnished she will be getting about 4500.00.
My husband and I have full guardianship of her 5 yr old. My daughter is on meds but still has outburst and makes it difficult to live with. We need to focus on the 5 yr olds well being for obvious reasons.
She was supposed to move out this past Saturday but hasn't. I was told to call the court and they will send someone to remove her tomorrow. She has court dates this week(2).Are we being cruel or are we condoning this issue? we would like your opinion. She had attempted suicide twice this past year along with many bad episodes that her daughter had witnessed.

Answer
As difficult as this is going to be for you, your husband, and your daughter - you must go forward with the eviction, and if it requires calling the court to have them send someone out to remove her from the home, then that's what you must do.

I'm not going to lie to you, this may be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but for the sake of your daughter and your granddaughter, you have to follow through and she needs to move out. She's unlikely to see the purpose behind your actions at this point, so I'd advise against trying to explain it all to her at this time. You're correct in focusing on the well-being of your granddaughter, and it's good that you have full guardianship, a five year old cannot cope with her mother's behaviors and would surely be affected even more in her custody should the issue of guardianship not have already been addressed. In time, your daughter will realize that there are many things she must learn how to do for herself, and because of her prior actions she cannot expect to get help from others like she would have gotten before. It's not going to be easy for you even at that point, because you will have to stick with watching your daughter struggle, just remember that this is something you are doing to help her in the long term. There will come a day when she will thank you for taking a stand, and you'll see an adult child take the place of the one she'd been before.

Good luck, and let me know if I can help you with anything further.  

Bipolar Disorder

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Jennifer

Expertise

I am available to answer questions of a general nature about bipolar disorder, provide online resources that address bipolar disorder in a more in-depth manner and sources to serve as a starting point for those looking for substantial information on the illness from a healthcare professional approach. I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist, my background is based in personal experience and extensive reading in my own process of understanding my diagnosis. I can also take questions that deal with the social issues surrounding bipolar disorder such as relationships; coping for family, friends, and the patient; marriage, choosing to start a family and related. Answers to questions of a legal nature will provide general information but anyone with a serious legal problem should consult an attorney licensed to practice in their jurisdiction.

Experience

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type II in 2000; as a SSI beneficiary, have experience and knowledge of the limitations and processes involved with the program; I understand the moods, the feelings, the worries, the doubts, and a lot more that there's not enough room to express - from the personal experiences of being bipolar. I have first-hand experience with the challenges of returning to college following hospitalizations and various combinations of medications that were tried before my doctor and I finally arrived at the most effective medication program for my treatment. My family and I have learned so much about each other in the process of dealing with the highs and lows that followed my diagnosis. I've had relationships with someone who also is bipolar and someone that is not - romantic relationships are no easier on either side! I feel that many of the ideas and beliefs that people have regarding bipolar disorder and those who have the condition promote the continuation of social stigmas associated with mental illness in general, and after learning from others with bipolar disorder, hope to guide others who may be trying to navigate the government health care system,& share information on other possible means of obtaining assistance with the cost of medications and/or mental health services and limited financial assistance programs for meeting basic living expenses for qualified individuals, dealing with problems from or with family & loved ones, co-occurring substance abuse problems, medications and side-effects (and when it feels like nothing will work, or why it's not helping the situation to ask whether or not a patient has taken their 'meds' when they seem hostile or moody to those around them).

Education/Credentials
I have a B.A. in Liberal Arts and will earn my J.D. upon completion of the Spring 2011 term after which I will be preparing to take the multi-state bar exam.

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