Expert: Ivan Goldberg, M.D. - 10/16/2011

Question
Since i was a young teen i have been dx with major recurrent depression, social anxiety, mood swings, self injury, and last year with rapid cycling bipolar disorder. There are many things in my life which i remember, verbal and emotional abuse by my mother, and bad fights with people (not physical from my recolection) However, this weekend my sister in law and husband and me were all talking and got on the subject of the past. They brought up situations that I have no memory of whatsoever. Not even a sliver of recognition of these things ever taking place. Such as snapping and going off on my sister in law and her having to restrain me, following my husband to his moms and punching him, multiple time and ripping off his necklace, and once of my mother screaming at me in front of them while having me against the wall by my throat. There are others also. I have a very good memory. I wasn't under the influence of alcohol or drugs during there events. I was a bit freaked out that i could have had such fits of rage and have no memory of them what so ever. Can this happen in bipolar? or another dx? I'm pretty scared that i can have these episodes and not know it. I do have a bad temper and usually express it by breaking things or SI (which i haven't done in over a year)

Answer
Hi Liz . . .

it sounds as if you may be suffering from the late effects of having been abused when you were younger. Some people who were abused have angry episodes that they do not remember. Such episodes, in people with an abuse history, are related to PTSD. If course irritability may also be increased by bipolar disorder so your rages may have more than one origin.

Best regards . . .

Ivan
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