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Bipolar Disorder/boyfriend with mild bipolar

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Expert: - 2/15/2011


Question
i been with my boyfriend for nine months, we always moved fast. we've been together everyday since we met and i lived with him, but now i live back with my mom since yesterday. for the last couple of months hes always telling me to leave and he dont love me any more and that hes not in love with me. before me he was in a bad relationship where trust was always broken they were together for three years. a month later hes with me and his family said he was never that happy. yesterday he got mad, and he left then called and told me to leave, i got tired of being told this and told im not loved or cared for any more. so my question is, does he just need time alone or does he really not have feelings for me any more? a couple of nights ago he made me cry all day trying to break up with me,then when i made him hold me he apologized and told me dont let the bipolar get in your head i really do love you and want to marry u, we were ingaged but i found out today he didnt want to be. did he mean what he said the other nite or does he mean it now? he told me if i get my stuff together and maybe he might want me back. i dont kno if i should just wait it out, b/c his moods can last a while until he really misses me, or if i should just give up and move on. im so confused.

thanks, kay

Answer
This guy is playing games with you, and no one deserves that kind of treatment regardless. In many cases, the person doing the majority of the back-and-forth mind game in a relationship with their partner's feelings will be justifying their actions to themselves, if not to their partner as well. The fact that his last relationship had problems with trust is something that he'll need to resolve on his own, and even if he does do so that's no guarantee that he'll be capable of a normal healthy relationship with you in the future. As difficult as it may be, the best thing for you to do is move on so that you can find the right person for you (who should also be someone who doesn't play any mind games in their relationships with family friends and romantic partner.)

Bipolar Disorder

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Jennifer

Expertise

I am available to answer questions of a general nature about bipolar disorder, provide online resources that address bipolar disorder in a more in-depth manner and sources to serve as a starting point for those looking for substantial information on the illness from a healthcare professional approach. I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist, my background is based in personal experience and extensive reading in my own process of understanding my diagnosis. I can also take questions that deal with the social issues surrounding bipolar disorder such as relationships; coping for family, friends, and the patient; marriage, choosing to start a family and related. Answers to questions of a legal nature will provide general information but anyone with a serious legal problem should consult an attorney licensed to practice in their jurisdiction.

Experience

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type II in 2000; as a SSI beneficiary, have experience and knowledge of the limitations and processes involved with the program; I understand the moods, the feelings, the worries, the doubts, and a lot more that there's not enough room to express - from the personal experiences of being bipolar. I have first-hand experience with the challenges of returning to college following hospitalizations and various combinations of medications that were tried before my doctor and I finally arrived at the most effective medication program for my treatment. My family and I have learned so much about each other in the process of dealing with the highs and lows that followed my diagnosis. I've had relationships with someone who also is bipolar and someone that is not - romantic relationships are no easier on either side! I feel that many of the ideas and beliefs that people have regarding bipolar disorder and those who have the condition promote the continuation of social stigmas associated with mental illness in general, and after learning from others with bipolar disorder, hope to guide others who may be trying to navigate the government health care system,& share information on other possible means of obtaining assistance with the cost of medications and/or mental health services and limited financial assistance programs for meeting basic living expenses for qualified individuals, dealing with problems from or with family & loved ones, co-occurring substance abuse problems, medications and side-effects (and when it feels like nothing will work, or why it's not helping the situation to ask whether or not a patient has taken their 'meds' when they seem hostile or moody to those around them).

Education/Credentials
I have a B.A. in Liberal Arts and will earn my J.D. upon completion of the Spring 2011 term after which I will be preparing to take the multi-state bar exam.

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