Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 6/23/2011

Question
I have gone to many different people in my city which is Indianapolis, IN. I put her in a Behavioral Center for a week because they said that is all they could do. She has attack me and my partner. She also attack my step-daughter that is 17 years old which is 5 months pregnant. I called the cops and also Child Protective Service but no one else will help. They said all these facilities are short term. My partner and I started loosing weight and our nerves were shot. She was happy one minute then upset the next crying uncontrollable. She actually physically hurt us all our backs and arms. I finally took her to her grandpa which is my dad because I couldn't take no more abuse emotionally and physically. She would be so quiet then she would yell at us saying she wanted to kill herself and hurt us. We left her bed in her room until we noticed that she started taking the screw's out of it. She started taking the nail's out of the trim or the wall. We found paper clips on the floor. She has called CPS on us 4 time's and got the school against us. Which we went to them telling them what she was doing. But the last time they wouldn't talk to us or look at us. CPS cleared us every time and I know she has this disorder but no one would actually give her a evaluation which is the questions for her to answer and they said nothing is wrong with her. She just wanted attention but in my eyes it is more than that. She steals and lies constantly. Either from us or stores and I have been doing a lot of reading on this disorder but all the facilities said they wont do nothing until she turns 13 years old. Right now she is happy as far as my dad tells me but I did tell him my concern but he don't want to believe what I have to say. When she is playing with other children one minute she is ok then the next she is bossing them around. They make up excuses that they have to leave because they don't want to be around her. She put's on this front with people that she is sweet and kind but then after sometime she will turn on them. Like I hate you, don't want to be around you. They didn't do anything to her and then, she says she misses them. I know it will get worse after she start's her period. She may be fine for a while but my dad is 70 years old and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. My daughter's dad has never been in the picture but she will go up to people (complete strangers) and say her dad didn't feed us. She will make stuff up to get people to feel sorry for her. She has told people we beat her, yell at her and so forth. We have done no such thing and we don't have anyone else to turn to. I plan on giving my dad guardianship of her because I know for a fact it would have been either me dead or her. That is all I wanted was her to be safe and alive. I love her very dearly and I do miss her but I will not put the family at risk or myself or her. I just don't know what to do because the two psychologist said there is nothing they can do for her because she needed to be seen on a more permanent basis. But then, when I did try to get a more permanent basis, she would put that manipulation face and act on and say nothing was wrong with her. She had no remorse on anything she did to any of us, it was like the person inside her didn't have a conscientious. I know for a fact she did at one point but then she did a 360 on me. She wouldn't sleep for days but have all this energy and then sleep for a few hours, then go again for days. She peed on most of her clothes and pooped in her room. We made her clean it up but she didn't care she had too. Nothing we did worked here at home. Thank you for your feed back when you get the time.

Answer
Laura:

I do not see a question here.  You do not say when this activity started.  Her behavior is very indicative of a young girl going through some emotional pain.  Is it possible she has been molested?  Can you think back to when this behavior started and possibly pinpoint something that might help?  Even the improper bathroom behavior is a strong indicator of this.  The fact she behaves well with your father indicates she feels safe there and that this isn't a disorder based on biological factors.  Did the psychologists mean by "permanent" that you set up regular weekly therapy?  You asked for my feedback and it is simply this:  Keep trying to find a therapist that will take her on for a series of sessions--and ask about the possibility of her being molested.  In all my experience, this type of behavior, especially if it started suddenly, often indicates that.  Whatever the cause, you have a young lady who is hurting and needs help.
                             Joyce A. Anthony