Expert: Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist - 7/3/2011

Question
Dear Sir,

My husband has symptoms of bipolar, ocd and borderline. He takes medicine and during the winter he will be down and say that he can't drink coffee and alochol, but during the summer he will be up and drink a lot of alcohol and say that he does not take medicine.

A lot of his behavior is similar to the behavior other people have written about. ( obsessive cleaning house, cannot hold a job, avoiding me, fear of abandonment, obsession with ex girlfriends, running and disappearing for days, wants to break up every start of a new season,no comminucation, erection problems, selfish, acting crazy (hear voices, smells things),always tries to bring me in difficult situations, never wants to spent time with me but does not want that I divorce him. And now, since the beginning of April he calls me names like stupid and defect brain. His behavior and games get worse every season.  

There are 2 things I noticed:  
He will do anything to play the blame game to shift all the blame on me.

1. He is normally really nice and friendly but only gets into his rage and anger when things don't go his way, when i try to comminucate or if I find out he did something (blocked my number, deleted my pictures). After a few weeks I will try to talk about the blocked number or deleted pictures and then he will say he did not do that or does not remember. Even if he reads my emails and later i will read his emails, he will yell at me that I want to know everything, but he does not see that he did the same thing. (double standards)  

2. When he does something (big) wrong, he will give me the silent treatment and wait till I do something (small) wrong. For example usually after a few days of silent treatment I will call him on his private phone and then he will start to rage and make threats that he wants a divorce. When I start to beg and say sorry, i love you, everything will be back to normal (till the next event). But we will never discuss what he did wrong.  

I told him a few times to go to the doctor but he tells me he is not crazy.  

My question is how can I help him (before I leave him for good)?

With kind regards.

I am 30 and female.

Answer
Hi bella,

I must agree with you that living with a man with such behavioural problems must be very difficult and I don't blame you if you are considering divorce. This certainly would be the answer if he is not willing to seek proper treatment. I suggest you look up our web site and go to INDEX and search for references to Bipolar Disorder, especially about hypoglycemia (anger management) and the use of lecithin in Bipolar Disorder. A lot can be done from a Nutritional point of view. But this needs to be done under the supervision of a nutritional doctor. It is a pity you did not mention your location. But please have a look at:

Looking For Complementary Doctors at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/Looking-for-Doctors.html

and see if you ca find a doctor that could help you.
Also research:

Alternative Mental Health Web site at:
http://www.alternativementalhealth.com

I hope you find a solution to your problems.


_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist.
Hon. Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Skype: jurplesman