Expert: Joyce A. Anthony - 7/31/2011

Question
Hello Joyce, I am at the end of my rope. We (my husband and I) won the kids 2 and a half years ago. The daughter is 14 and the son 10. Their real mother is a rapid cycling bipolar and is a pathological liar and by the guardian adlitum's opinion also has Munch-housen disease. The father also has a pathalogical lying problem and could possibly be undiagnosed bipolar himself! The daughter will do things ALL the time to try to start trouble (very much like her 2 real parents)and lies everyday. She has an extreamly smart mouth and has no remorse for her actions. Before we won the kids, the mother was ordered by the courts to get the daughter a full mental evaluation. It wasnt finished because the mother lied and said the kids had chicken pox for the second time! Now my husband is a very lazy man at home and will only do what he has to do and NOTHING MORE. He has soul care custody.
 What can i do?  The daughter is distroying my marrage and the father allows her to disrespect me(like he dose also) I am so at the end of my rope I dont think i can deal with living with her and my trouble making husband for the next four years. It was bad enough with just my husband but 10,000 times worse with her living here now and I am very concerned for the sone's mental health living with 2 trouble-making smart allicks. The triangles of game playing are on a daily basis. Them against me :(.  My wick has gotten much shorter and I dont know where to turn anymore. I will be calling a couselor on Monday and see if i can get the ball rolling in that department. BUT, my husband and his daughter have a strange nack for acting nice in public and then like devils at home. HELP, what can i do to keep my sanity living amist this dysfuntion?

Answer
Lynn:

I'm afraid I wasn't able to discern exactly what your question is here.  I have a question for you--why are you subjecting yourself to what amounts to abuse?  If I were you, I would leave the house, divorce and move onto a man who can appreciate you.  Have you suggested counseling for you and your husband?  Have you considered going yourself to help deal with the stress this situation is causing?  I'm afraid that at 14, most states will allow your step-daughter to decide whether or not she should attend counseling.  I apologize if I have not answered the question you intended.  Please feel fee to reword it and resubmit.

                                        Joyce A. Anthony